Moony's Story: You Set Me Free
by Nora's magelet
Summary: Second part of the Marauders' Story Trilogy. Check out my user profile for a full summary.
1. Remus & Mara

> **Chapter 1: The Girl Next Door**

> **Moony's Story**
> 
> Disclaimer: I'm only going to do this once, because I got sick of doing it last time. I do not own anything. Except for what's mine, of course.
> 
> Ah, it feels good to be back. My last fanfic was a blast, and I hope this one is as much fun. For any of you who have read my last fic, welcome back and please proceed. For any of you who haven't, proceed anyway cause not much happens in this Chapter, it's just an introduction. But you might want to check out Padfoot's Story: The Dog and the Owl (written by me) for future Chapters if you want to know what I'm talking about.
> 
> This story will alternate between Remus and Mara's point of view. I can't guarantee that every Chapter they will switch, because some scenes I really want to do from a certain person's POV. But we'll see what happens.
> 
> And now, without further ado, I would like to present...the first Chapter!
> 
> **...........................................................**

> Mara Wilson was the girl next door.
> 
> She was many things, but first and foremost that's what she was. I knew her practically since I was in diapers. If you can imagine me in diapers, that is. Her mother and my mother were attached at the hip, so for about the first six years of both of our lives we were too.

> Mara was also my friend. The kind where when you desperately need to talk to someone and you can't decide who would understand, you lean out your bedroom window and holler her name. Then she would come to her window, which conveniently faced mine, and just listen. Normally she wouldn't even say anything back, just nod or shrug or shake her head. But I always felt better afterwards anyway.
> 
> Mara was muggle-born. She didn't know anything about the wizarding world at all, most likely never even questioned its existence. I guess I should have been surprised that she was still my friend even though she went to school and I failed miserably at pretending to be home-schooled. She couldn't exactly ask me for help with her trigonometry homework, although she tried. But I guess since my mother was a Muggle too, she could talk to Mara's mother about lesson plans and therefore squash any suspicions Mara might have had.
> 
> Suspicions? Well, I'm sure there were suspicions about where I disappeared to every month after I got the bite. But did Mara Wilson ever connect Remus J. Lupin and werewolf? I bloody well hope not, cause nobody else knew until I left for Hogwarts.
> 
> Mara had some kind of disease, too. It made her have seizures every once in a while. It was called...epilepsy. Yes, that was it. Mystified the doctors, because her symptoms didn't really match the symptoms for it. But I was never with her when it happened, so I wouldn't know.
> 
> Mara is an orphan, by the way. When we were nine, both her parents died in a freak accident and Mara moved away. I was really sad for awhile. She was the only muggle friend I'd ever had. Not the only _friend_ I'd had, mind you, my father took me to a lot of wizard gatherings and I met kids my own age, but there was some quality she possessed that the other children lacked. I've never been able to put my finger on it-- was it her warmth? Her sincerity? The way even when we fought, she could never hold a grudge? It's not important. The fact was, I forgot about her. Thought I would never see her again. And soon after she moved, I accepted that.
> 
> So you can imagine my surprise when I got off the Hogwarts Express on my first ever day of term, and who do I see but Mara Wilson.
> 
> That's right. She's a witch, too. And she's the one person I never expected to see wearing robes and a pointy black hat. Actually, I think she was a witch for Halloween once...but now I'm going off-topic.
> 
> We were both surprised, maybe even embarrassed for not keeping contact. That night, both of us were sorted into Gryffindor, along with three other boys I had met on the train who eventually became my best friends: James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew. And still, we didn't really talk. I sometimes think she avoided me, and I never pressed the issue.
> 
> Mara is an enchantress as well. I learned this one time after I was returning from a prank with James and the crew around midnight. We were all hiding under the invisibility cloak, and we walked through the portrait hole and there she was, sitting in an armchair next to the dying fire playing her guitar. She was absolutely amazing. I was...well, _entranced _isn't really the right word. _Bewitched_ is more like it. I stopped dead and couldn't move, as if I'd grown roots, and watched as her fingers danced elegantly over the strings. I didn't even _know_ she could play guitar. Then she started singing. I didn't feel worthy of listening to her voice. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
> 
> Did I mention Mara Wilson is also a thief? Yeah, when I was seventeen, she stole my heart and never gave it back.
> 
> ----------------------------------------------
> 
> My name is Mara Wilson, and this story is as much mine as it is Remus's.
> 
> I always knew there was something weird about me, but I never knew I was a witch until after my parents died. When you go through as much pain and agony as I went through-waking up one day, and finding that both your parents are gone forever- a whole lot of frustration has to come out at some point. Mine happened to come out in the form of magic. So I wasn't really all that surprised when I got the letter. I was glad, actually, because it released me from the prison I'd been living in. I still can't tell you how much I miss my parents.
> 
> Before my world was savagely ripped apart, of course, my life was really very normal. There was the epilepsy, but seizures were rare. I went to school, I had friends. Not a lot, but a few close ones. I passed all my classes and worried about the normal things girls worried about- boys, hair, clothes, and stuff like that. I wasn't beautiful, but it never really bothered me. My friends didn't care about my appearance, so why should I? I was brought up to believe looks didn't get you anywhere.
> 
> All in all, life was simple. Nothing weird or crazy or strange ever happened. And I liked it that way.
> 
> Then there was Remus Lupin.
> 
> How do I describe him? He was my neighbor, and my best friend. I didn't see him at school--his mother home-schooled him-- but we still talked back and forth via our windows. He wasn't immature, like most of the boys in my class. The two of us could actually have an intelligent conversation.
> 
> By the time I was seven, I had started looking at him in a whole new way. Every time I was near him my stomach gave this weird sort of lurch, and I found myself going out of my way to talk to him. To stare into his eyes, or admire the way his hair fell across his forehead.
> 
> I know what you're thinking. A silly little crush, right? A childish infatuation. How could a seven year old actually feel anything more than a crush? But I felt more than that, and that feeling lasted. Lasted for a much longer time than I expected, or even wanted.
> 
> That's why I nearly lost it when I had to move away. I didn't lose only my parents. I lost Remus, too.
> 
> My years at the orphanage were torture. The other kids were not compassionate; the fact that we all were parentless meant nothing. It didn't bring us together, and I found no comfort in the dark, gloomy building. It didn't help that sometimes I became so angry I used magic. After I magically threw this one kid, Lewis White, out the window (he had been doing impressions of one of my seizures) the other children shunned me once and for all. This wasn't all that was on my mind. I was constantly plagued by a fear of which the other children did not know.
> 
> I withdrew into a shell, refused to talk. While the other children were downstairs, gazing stupidly at the television or playing board games that had half the pieces missing, I was sitting on my bed and trembling. Missing my mom, missing my dad, missing Remus, missing my life. It was gone. Forever.
> 
> The thing that kept me going was my one and only talent. Music.
> 
> My father had taught me to play the guitar by the time I was five. He was always very proud of it. My voice wasn't half bad, either, and I had won a few awards from various shows and county fairs. It soothed my nerves and was a way to release emotion. Not to mention it was a lot safer than magic, a talent I possessed but was as scared of as the other kids.
> 
> So when I felt as if life wasn't worth living (a feeling I admit I had several times a day) I pulled my guitar out from under my sagging bed and strummed it. The notes brought hope and life to the depressing room.
> 
> When I got my letter I was thrilled, though not surprised. I was finally leaving. I only had to come back during the summers. I was going to have friends again, run around free and be able to breathe. I was going to learn _magic!_
> 
> I bought robes, spell books, a cauldron, a _wand._ Diagon Alley was incredible. So was the train ride to the castle, even though I didn't make any friends. My eyes may have frightened the other students away, which is understandable. They tend to stand out a bit.
> 
> When I stepped off the train, my heart froze. Because there, not five feet away, laughing loudly with three other boys, was Remus. _My _Remus. When he turned around and looked directly into my eyes, you could have sliced the tension between us with a knife. Immediately we both turned on our heels and walked away as quickly as we could. We haven't spoken since, and I miss it horribly.
> 
> Truth be told, I never really did make friends, and I'm no good at magic at all. Life at Hogwarts is a lot better than the orphange, but I would give anything and everything just to live my old life again for one day. When all I had to worry about was whether or not I passed the math test, and a legend nearly as old as Hogwarts itself didn't threaten to destroy my already grief-stricken world.
> 
> So I watched from afar as Remus and the other Marauders pulled prank after prank, became the coolest kids in school, and graduated top of their year, every year. In 5th year I noticed the prefect badge on Remus's chest right away, just as I noticed how he never had a girlfriend and seemed to disappear for a few days every month. It was very mysterious, how that happened regularly and no one knew why. Sometimes it almost made me think Remus had a secret that nobody else could know.
> 
> But then again, that's okay. So did I.
> 
> **................................................................**
> 
> This chapter used to contain only the first half- from Remus's POV- but I didn't like it so I came back and added Mara's POV as well.
> 
> To give you more of an . . .umm . . ._urge_ to review, I have enlisted the help of my pet Barney the Bat {.,.} who made a minor appearance in my last story. Barney, you see, likes to sing and hopes that if his lyrics are published online some agent might sign him a record deal. I didn't want to hurt his feelings. So, umm . . .you might want to get a pair of earplugs or something . . .
> 
> **Barney: **Ok, people, this song is to the tune of "Loverly" from "My Fair Lady," and the Hampton Inn commercials. I decided to rewrite the words because my owner has had this song stuck in her head for the last week or so, and it's really bugging her.
> 
> **Me:** Gee, thanks. You know me so well.
> 
> **Barney:** (grabs microphone)
> 
> _All I want is a few reviews,_
> 
> _With compliments if the readers choose,_
> 
> _Let's hope they don't abuse_
> 
> _Oh wouldn't it be loverly? _
> 
> _I love to sign onto AOL_
> 
> _And see a review alert, oh it's swell,_
> 
> _They make me write real well_
> 
> _Oh wouldn't it be loverly?_
> 
> _Getting reviews is so much fun,_
> 
> _I get mad when I have none,_
> 
> _Then I use my machine gun_
> 
> _Oh--"_
> 
> **Me:** Hold it! Hold everything!
> 
> **Barney:** (looks as me expectantly)
> 
> **Me:** You can't say that! What if they report us to the site? What if they call the _police?!_
> 
> **Barney:** Well, sometimes I think a good threat can really do the trick. They'll be reviewing in no time.
> 
> I think my bat has finally lost it . . .but don't worry, he doesn't have a machine gun. At least, I don't think he does…
> 
> -Padfoot-Dreamer-


	2. Mara, Past

> **Chapter 2: A Talk with Remus**
> 
> **Moony's Story**
> 
> This Chapter is dedicated to Lizzybelle, my first reviewer, and a new one at that! You made my day.
> 
> **.......................................................................................**
> 
> History of Magic is the most boring class in the history of magic.
> 
> Seriously.
> 
> You'd think having a ghost for a teacher would be kind of cool, but in truth sometimes I wish Professor Binns had just stayed in the grave. Then maybe we'd have a teacher who wouldn't make me think longingly of my four-poster up in the Gryffindor tower at least ten times a lesson.
> 
> There are really only two good things about History of Magic.
> 
> Number one-- _He's _in this class. Well, in all of them, actually, since we're in the same house, but I never get tired of admiring the back of his head. That's all I could see from this angle.
> 
> I tuned out Professor Binns's drone and scribbled his name in elegant, looping cursive. _Remus Lupin. _Those two words occupied every square inch of my parchment. And an awful big piece of my heart, too.
> 
> "Mara," Lily hissed in my ear. Her quill was darting back and forth over her roll of parchment. "You're supposed to be taking notes."
> 
> "It's too early," I yawned back. "How am I supposed to pay attention when all I can think of is my bed?"
> 
> Lily shrugged and roughly pushed her curtain of copper hair out of her face. I knew the only reason she was sitting next to me was because we're cousins and Gryffindors don't have History of Magic with the Ravenclaws, so she couldn't sit with Sami, her best friend. I redirected my attention to the wispy curls at the nape of Remus's neck.
> 
> The second good thing about History of Magic is it's one of the only classes I ever get good marks in, mainly because it's one of the few that doesn't involve magic. Anything that requires a wand is totally lost on me. I've been called a Squib, (not to mention a Mudblood, but select Slytherins) and sometimes I have to admit they may be right. I can't even levitate anything without my wand giving me trouble. Usually attempts to do magic on my part result in me blowing something up.
> 
> I know that there are, in fact, a lot of classes that don't involve using magic, but I have a brown thumb in Herbology and am always falling asleep in Astronomy. The only class I've ever really passed on my own besides History of Magic is Muggle Studies. Three guesses why.
> 
> So, yeah, normally I would be taking notes just like Lily. But give me a break. I was up late last night.
> 
> I was absentmindedly doodling a heart with Remus's initials in it when the bell signaling the end of class finally rang. I gathered my books, crumpled the scrap of parchment in my fist, and followed the other students out the door.
> 
> -------------------------------------------------

> I had Potions that day too, which wasn't as complete a disaster as it would have been, say, two summers ago, when I found out that in some bizarre twist of fate I had received an O on my Potions O.W.L. and had to continue mixing up weird concoctions until I graduated. I think Dumbledore actually stepped in and changed my grade because otherwise I wouldn't be able to take any subjects other than the two mentioned above, which is quite an insult to my pride. I have a feeling he also interfered with my Astronomy, Herbology, Defense Against the Dark Arts _and_ Transfiguration grades. But I'll admit I'm thankful now; Potions, for one, is starting to grow on me. I haven't spilled anything poisonous on myself in the last four lessons.
> 
> The bell signaling that classes were over and dinner was being served was quite welcome, and I proceeded upstairs to grab two apples, a chicken leg and a flagon of pumpkin juice. This is what I have for dinner every day. Not having any close friends, I don't particularly enjoy eating my meals in the Great Hall. I stashed my meal in a napkin and headed upstairs to the Gryffindor common room, planning to get a head start on my homework.
> 
> "Erumpent horn," I murmured to the Fat Lady, who swung open. I stepped through the portrait hole, took one look at the person sitting in the armchair by the fire, and abruptly turned on my heel.
> 
> "Hey Mara, wait!" Remus called after me anxiously. I paused, one leg already through, and grimaced. Then I turned around to face him.
> 
> "What?"
> 
> "Can I talk to you?"
> 
> _"Why?"_
> 
> Inside, my heart started fluttering. He hadn't talked to me in _years._ It's extremely depressing when you haven't talked to your former best friend in years, and you also happen to be secretly in love with him.
> 
> "Because . . . I want to."
> 
> This was were my expectations started to go up. _Way_ up. I'll admit, those four words made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. In the end, though, I regretted those warm fuzzy feelings.
> 
> "Oh- okay."
> 
> I was in such a rush to get to him, I forgot one of my legs was still outside in the corridor. I took one step, tripped, and fell flat on my face.
> 
> "Mara!" Remus exclaimed, wearing an expression halfway between concern and difficult restraint. Restraint from bursting out laughing, that is.
> 
> He started to rise from his chair. "No!" I stammered frantically, as I scrambled up and hastened to catch the apples rolling around on the floor. "It- it's alright, I'm fine." Remus sank back down into his armchair, looking worried.
> 
> I lurched over to the armchair next to him and collapsed in it, completely mortified. I tried to rub my knee inconspicuously, but failed miserably. There was a long, distinct silence.
> 
> "Well, I don't really know how to say this," Remus murmured softly. He was speaking slowly, and choosing his words very carefully.
> 
> I nodded in a way I hoped was encouraging, still trying to block out the acute pain in my leg. There was going to be a bruise there, I could tell.
> 
> "There's this person, see," he continued finally. "And I can't get them out of my head."
> 
> "Go on," I said, a little too quickly. I was suddenly very interested.
> 
> "I've liked them for a long time, and . . .I want to know if they feel the same," he mumbled, looking into the fire.
> 
> "Ask them," I said, trying hard to disguise my eagerness. If he meant . . .well, if he meant _me,_ I couldn't very well make it obvious I liked him back.
> 
> "But they'll probably reject me," Remus breathed. I had to read his lips to understand him. It must be hard for a guy to say these things to a girl, or something.
> 
> "Why would they reject you?" I asked, attempting to make the prospect sound ridiculous. He finally moved his gaze to my face, and shook his head.
> 
> "Because I'm a wer-- I'm not good enough for them," he said hastily, and he blanched.
> 
> I cocked my head. "Don't say that," I said incredulously. "Where's your confidence? Any girl would be lucky to have you." I was starting to sound stupid, but I ignored it.
> 
> He grinned lopsidedly. "You really think so?"
> 
> His face was a lot closer to mine now, and my checks were growing hot. "Sure." My heart was beating a wild rhythm against my rib cage, and I was sure he could hear it.
> 
> Remus paused, as though contemplating something. "It's hard to see it from her perspective."
> 
> I was lost in his clear blue eyes. "What? Oh . . .er . . .how do you know she hasn't felt the same way for a long time, and right now is wondering who _you_ like?"
> 
> He blinked. "Well, I don't."
> 
> "Exactly," I said earnestly. "Look at it this way: if you don't ask her you'll regret it, and if you _do_ either she'll say no and you can get on with your life, or she'll say yes and you can live happily ever after." Remus snorted. Then his eyes softened, taking on a more serious edge.
> 
> "Thanks. It's helped, talking to you. It always has."
> 
> I nearly fainted from elation.
> 
> "Well, if I ever work up the nerve, I'll ask her, and remember what you said," he continued.
> 
> "Tell me how it goes, alright?" I asked, hoping he wouldn't need to seeing as _I'd_ be the one he was asking anyway.
> 
> "Yeah, sure," he said carelessly. He ran his fingers through his hair, which was glinting slightly in the flames. "I think I'll go upstairs; get a head start on that Potions essay." He turned to leave.
> 
> "Wait-- who is it?"
> 
> His face flushed. "Oh- I think you know her, she's your cousin's best friend, isn't she?" I froze, completely numb. "She's in Ravenclaw, her name's-"
> 
> "Sami Jackson, right?" I asked, crestfallen.
> 
> "Yes," Remus replied, looking slightly uncomfortable. I stared at my hands.
> 
> "Well-- well, bye," he said, and disappeared up the boys' staircases.
> 
> I waited until the sounds of his footsteps died away, then hastened through the portrait hole, seething, my dinner forgotten.
> 
> Of course he would have a crush on someone like _her_,with the looks and popularity and intelligence. It wouldn't be fitting for Remus to look at me that way; how could someone that close with Sirius Black and James Potter go out with _Mara Wilson?_ I know I'm the brunt of all the jokes, Mara Wilson with the weird eyes and the shaking hands and no friends. You don't see someone like Sami _Jackson_ blowing up a teakettle when all she had to do was make it whistle to the tune of a Weird Sisters song.
> 
> I wandered around from floor to floor, my anger piqued and my head a mess. Soon my frustration was directed at myself, and not Sami or Remus. Who had I been kidding, to think he meant me?
> 
> Slowly, the jostling crowd of students returning from dinner dissipated, and then vanished all together. The sky outside was gradually becoming darker and darker. Each of my footsteps echoed menacingly off the walls, making me more than aware of my loneliness. Eventually, the torches along the halls magically lit themselves and I realized I had better get back to my common room if I didn't want a detention.
> 
> I paused for a moment, drying my eyes with the back of my hand and getting my bearings. I was on the second floor, and I needed to get all the way up to the seventh.
> 
> That's when all the torches went out.
> 
> I blinked a few times, trying to get my eyes to adjust to the sudden darkness. I wondered for a moment if it was just the wind, although I hadn't seen any open windows, or Peeves playing a joke on me. Suddenly a feeling of intense wariness shuddered through me, and I knew this wasn't a joke. Something was wrong.
> 
> I took a step forward, my wand out. Then another step, and another . . .I stubbed my toe on a suit of armor, which wheezed patronizingly. My eyes watered.
> 
> "Oh, you stupid, feebleminded lump of rubbish," I hissed, hopping around and letting out a colorful string of curse words. The armor clanked threateningly.
> 
> My rant ended unexpectedly when a cold, clammy hand fastened itself over my mouth.
> 
> **..............................................................................**

> Dun dun dun!
> 
> Cliffhangers are two-faced. I like them when I write them myself, but when someone else writes one I hate it.
> 
> I know not much has been explained yet, (you don't even know what Mara looks like) but it will be explained as we go along.
> 
> And now, to reply to my reviewers! I was so pleased that so many of you came back, as most of the reviewers had reviewed my other story, too. And I've always thought that seven sounds so much more than six.
> 
> **Lizzybelle**: Yay, first reviewer! Thanks, and I hope I helped with you Chapter problem.
> 
> **BlackLupin**: Not quite the first reviewer, but close, lol! Don't worry, I've done that a few times too. And yeah, I think you could tell that Sami's also in this fic- hope that doesn't disappoint you. This story basically goes into more detail about what happened in my last one, who was involved, etc. You better have your next chapter posted soon, to continue our telepathic connection!
> 
> **Silver Phoenix25**: Thanks a _lot,_ that review was all I needed to boost my confidence on that issue! It wasn't as good as yours, of course, but it never could be. I finally finished Perfect World . . .and it was _awesome,_ especially Ron's proposal!
> 
> **Smiley-Freak :D** : Thanks a bunch! Here's the next Chapter, then.
> 
> **alwaysginny**: Thank you. I'm sure Barney would love to meet George, maybe they can write a song together!
> 
> **Snuffles2984**: I like that line, too. I'm quite proud of it. (smirks) I like you story, I'm working my way through it whenever I can find the time to sneak in a Chapter. I will finish it eventually, though, you can count on it.
> 
> 11 days left! (Sings) It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas . . .
> 
> -Padfoot-Dreamer-


	3. Mara, Past

> **Chapter Three: Rendezvous with You-Know-Who**
> 
> **Moony's Story**
> 
> I'm back, finally, after nearly a month, which is the longest amount of time it's ever taken me. Sorry for the delay. I'd like to take this opportunity to wish everyone an extremely happy new year! It's officially been 2004 for over a week! Kind of scary.
> 
> **.............................................................................**

> I couldn't even scream. I just froze.
> 
> Which should give you an excellent example of my brilliant reflexes.
> 
> Whatever had its hand over my mouth was completely silent. It started dragging me backward, and I obliged, terrified. Sweat was pouring down my face, which was contorted into some kind of painful grimace. Recognition was stirring somewhere in the back of my brain, but I was too scared to pay much attention to it.
> 
> Suddenly I remembered I was still holding my wand.
> 
> "Impedimenta!" I screamed wildly, the word muffled. A beam of light shot out of my wand- somewhere I heard the unmistakable sound of glass breaking.
> 
> Someone snarled. "You little mudblood, _shut up!_ Silencio!" The voice was eerily familiar. I continued to shout hexes uselessly, my lips moving against that clammy hand. Beams of light somehow continued to expel from my wand, so that glimmers of red and white and green bounced off the walls and ceiling.
> 
> In the split second my attacker paused, I stomped hard on his foot. A yelp of pain came from under his hood. I twisted away, and as his hand was torn from my mouth, his nails tore open my cheek. Another hand came out of nowhere and smacked me.
> 
> I swayed drunkenly, trying to tell apart the two identical corridors I was seeing. My attacker took advantage of this, and yanked me through a doorway and into a dark, abandoned classroom.
> 
> He released me, and I feel forward onto my knees, gasping silently and rubbing my stinging cheek. Behind me, I heard the swish of a wand and a whispered _"Aucun Silence!" _ Suddenly my labored breathing echoed throughout the room.
> 
> Unconsciously, my grip had tightened on my wand. I knew that voice, I was sure of it now...I had to get away. A wave of hot, rippling anger rose in my chest.
> 
> "Petrificus Totalus!" I bellowed, as I rose and spun around. Nothing happened. I could picture the mocking smirk my attacker was wearing. He had even lowered his wand.
> 
> "Stupefy!" I tried again. Three sparks flew out of my wand with a loud honking sound.
> 
> "Bloody _wand!"_ I muttered furiously. I shook it, and the voice under the hood laughed- a laugh that was cold and mirthless, yet high-pitched. My already frizzy hair stood on end.
> 
> "Lower your wand, Mara," it said. "There's no point losing your temper."
> 
> Something in my chest snapped- next moment a jet of blinding white light had erupted from my wand tip, without me saying a word.
> 
> I was hopeful for a moment that that spell would him- my attacker, that is- but he didn't even have to duck; the spell passed three feet to the left of him and hit a mirror. There was the sound of glass breaking for a second time.
> 
> The voice chuckled.
> 
> "Like I said, Mara . . .good thing you missed. You know perfectly well you would have felt the pain as much as I," he said, and I snarled.
> 
> Two hands, with long, white, spider-like fingers, reached up and lowered the hood.
> 
> It was, of course, Voldemort. I snarled again and turned away.
> 
> "You won't even face me? Still scared of me after all these years?" he taunted lightly. I turned swiftly, my face hot. Thoughts of escaping or yelling for help flashed through my head, all useless. You couldn't escape from Lord Voldemort.
> 
> "Why are you here?" I hissed. "Why did you come? Why do you have to keep dropping in on me, I haven't had one in years, not since you did the spell! You _know_ that! Can't you just _leave me alone?"_
> 
> Voldemort examined his waxen fingers. "It is perfectly normal for- er- _talents _such as yours to wane after a spell such as this is performed. They will come back eventually, once you have regained your strength. And when they do, I'll be waiting." He talked slowly, to make sure I was hanging onto his every word.
> 
> Bristling, I stalked over to the mirror I had broken. I would rather have looked at anything- even my own reflection- than his face.
> 
> "Normal, eh?" I laughed harshly, in a voice that was not my own. "You call this normal? How many other cases like mine have there been, exactly?"
> 
> Voldemort drifted across the room until he stood next to me, and was looking in the mirror as well. I shrank back slightly from his presence; the air around him felt evil.
> 
> "None in modern times," he replied smoothly. "But if you simply look back upon your ancestry, as you already know- I expect you'll find quite a few." I shivered for no apparent reason, then glanced suspiciously at him. He was staring at me. I hastily returned my gaze to the cracked mirror.
> 
> An abnormally short, skinny girl of seventeen stared back at me, with frizzy, honey-colored hair that barely reached her shoulders. There was an ugly purple bruise on her right cheek, which, if anything, emphasized the deathly pale skin around it- though not, as the girl liked to think, the same colorless pale as Lord Voldemort's. The one thing, however, that easily stood out the most about her appearance was her eyes. They were huge; taking up much more of her face then was necessary, and a queer, stormy gray. The kind of gray that reflected every single emotion the girl was feeling. Right now they were thick, swirling, and glinting dangerously, exactly like a thundercloud- wanting to pour, but holding back their wrath with extreme difficulty. I shuddered, knowing the girl's face was my own.
> 
> "Yes, your eyes," Voldemort whispered to our reflections, as if he could read my mind- which, I thought with alarm, he probably could. "The reason we are both here tonight." I didn't answer."Their power is still growing."
> 
> "I didn't ask for it!" I shouted. My voice rang around the room, and Voldemort watched me, expressionless, almost pitying. But I was on a roll now.
> 
> "I didn't ask for it and I don't want it now, I never will! If it wasn't for my... my _destiny,_ or fate or whatever nonsense you want to call it, you wouldn't have shown up and murdered my parents, and you wouldn't be here ruining my life and- I'd never have to see you foul face ever again!" I stopped, panting. My throat had become too hoarse to continue.
> 
> "Temper, Mara," Voldemort said calmly, and his eyes flashed. I threw him the nastiest look I could muster.
> 
> Slowly my breathing returned to normal. The silence in the room was deafening; it weighed down on me like a thick blanket and I nearly gagged. And still Voldemort studied his reflection. Or mine, rather. I felt like a deer caught in the headlights.
> 
> "So, can I go, then?" I asked, trying to sound as if his answer meant nothing. But he knew.
> 
> "No." He turned to face me. When I didn't look at him, he reached out and grasped my chin between his thumb and forefinger. Against my will, I began to tremble.
> 
> He turned my face toward him until his eyes were boring into mine. I began to twitch violently. His pupils doubled in size and he seemed to be searching for something, and I was naked, powerless to stop him from exploring my soul and mind. For a full tortuous minute I was in his control. Finally, he withdrew himself, and my lurching stopped. I took a deep, steadying breath.
> 
> "You're going to be beautiful," he said softly. His voice filled the entire room, as my yelling had earlier. "Eventually," he added cruelly, and I stiffened.
> 
> I jerked away from him, stumbling backward into the wall. I had the impression his grip would have held if he'd wanted it to.
> 
> "Don't touch me," I snapped. He smirked.
> 
> "Our bond's sole purpose isn't only so that I have information," he said haughtily. "I have Death Eaters for that. No...every Lord needs a Lady, Mara." My heart stopped.
> 
> With a last penetrating glance, he swept from the room.
> 
> Chills raced up and down my spine as his last words pounded inside my head. _Every Lord needs a Lady, Mara._ Terrified, I sprinted as fast as I could all the way up to Gryffindor Tower, my robes billowing out behind me.
> 
> **............................................................................**

> Please review! Please! Please! (No, I'm not that desperate . . .)
> 
> **Snuffles2984**: Nope, not dementors, but good guess. Hope this isn't too much of a cliffhanger!
> 
> **BlackLupin**: Well, that's a good goal! Maybe you can make that a habit in each of my fics. Arghh, I'm flattering myself . . .but I finally updated! Finally! (And it _was_ right after you uploaded the latest chapter of ICSY, so that's good, right?)
> 
> **Bob the Invincible Elf**: Yay, a review from you, lol. I feel special- well, all reviews make me feel special. And I can't believe that when I randomly picked a name for this character, it turned out to be the name of that girl from Matilda and Mrs. Doubtfire. I think it's a sign...yes, definately a sign.
> 
> **Smiley-Freak :D** and **BlackNight** : Thanks! Hope you like the new chapter.
> 
> **alwaysginny**: Thanks, and yes, there definately has to be a chapter where george and barney sing together. Definately.
> 
> **sweetqtpie072689**: Wow, now we have a singing trio! This is getting big.
> 
> **shadows13**: Sorry, don't feel bad! I wasn't thinking about things like that when I posted this, but next time I'll remember to send you an email! I'm not sure if evanescence really goes with the theme of the story, but I do agree with you that they're a great band...I'll see what I can do in future stories.
> 
> **FluffyPinkFlamingo**: I really hope you get that new story posted soon cuz I really really wanna read it!
> 
> Bye for now!
> 
> -Padfoot-Dreamer-


	4. Remus, Past

> **Chapter 4: Sirius Makes a Move**
> 
> **Moony's Story**
> 
> Most of this Chapter is a scene from my last fic told from Remus's point of view. It's just to let you know most of this fic takes place during the same time period as my last one, and to build on Remus's feelings for Sami. Enjoy!
> 
> **....................................................**

> I'm really a wimp sometimes. It's been three days since I talked to Mara about Sami, and I still haven't done anything about it- asked her to go out with me, that is. I could say that I've been busy with my studies, since N.E.W.T.S. are coming up and all, but that would be a lie.
> 
> I could also say that I'm scared of my friends' reactions. I know Sirius likes Sami too. He's liked her since the middle of last year; he keeps going on about her, just like James is always going on about Lily Evans. Bit annoying, really. But the thing is, none of them know I like her. Sirius, though we're good friends and all, would get really territorial if he knew... is this just another excuse to cover up for my fear?
> 
> Rejection is a scary thing for me. Just look at how scared I was that James and Sirius- and even Peter- would drop me once they found out I'm a werewolf...then again, when they did fidn out, it turned out better than I could have ever imagined. Maybe, if I could just get myself to walk up to her and ask...maybe that would turn out really great, too? Maybe I _think_ about these things too much...look at James, he can't even look at Lily without asking her out. He asked her for the 277th time during breakfast. I've kind of kept a running list, if you know what I mean, for blackmail purposes. I'm sure a lot of thought went into each of those 277 attempts.
> 
> The thing I keep brooding over is my conversation with Mara. I wanted to talk to a girl, not James, Sirius or Peter- but I had hoped I could get Lily, since she knows Sami better. And yet, when Mara walked through the portrait hole- I really felt like she was the only one who'd understand. And I've missed her these past years. One day she was there, and the next she was gone. She didn't leave an address, and she never wrote. And after talking to her, I was..._glad_ that it was her I met first, and not Lily.
> 
> I think Sirius has been slipping me some of that fickle fudge again. Make a mental note to watch what you eat, Moony.
> 
> James waved his hand in front of my face. "Earth to Moony," he said impatiently.
> 
> "What?" I asked stupidly.
> 
> James clicked his tongue in exasperation. "We were discussing where to go next week, during full moon. You didn't forget next week's full moon, did you?"
> 
> Yeah. As if.
> 
> "You've been daydreaming again."
> 
> "Sorry," I muttered.
> 
> "So, any ideas?" James said, addressing the whole group.
> 
> It was the third Saturday in April, and the third Hogsmeade trip of the year. The winter had been bitterly cold, but now the sun was shining cheerfully and everyone was reveling in the warm weather. There wasn't a single cloak or scarf visible in the whole town. Even the birds were rejoicing.
> 
> All four of us Marauders were lounging in a circle in front of the Shrieking Shack. Personally, I'm not very fond of it, but James and Sirius say it helps their creativity. Yet another reason to stay away from it, in my opinion.
> 
> "This month we could explore that shack behind the Three Broomsticks," I began thoughtfully. I saw James nod; the sun was glinting off his glasses. It was very distracting. "There's a rumor that somebody has been smuggling Demiguise hides there and selling them illegally on the black market. I'd like to catch him in the act; I doubt he'd try to plead his innocence to a werewolf. Besides, I'd like an Invisibility Cloak of my own, _James,"_ I said, grinning slyly at him. "What do you think, Peter?"
> 
> Peter started. He obviously hadn't been listening, and he was fiddling with his wand. I saw him glance at the Shrieking Shack fearfully, which was sort of pathetic because it didn't look scary at all with the sun shining on it, before he answered.
> 
> "I don't know, Remus. It's not very safe to be wandering off like this every month, what if we get caught?"
> 
> James and I looked at each other and rolled our eyes. "Aw Pete, c'mon, we won't get caught, it'll be great. Even if we _were,_ it wouldn't exactly be difficult for you to just slip away. . .and what do _you_ need an Invisibility Cloak for, anyway?" James asked, turning towards me.
> 
> "It gets just a _little_ cramped with all four of us stuffed under that Cloak."
> 
> "Oh yeah . . ."
> 
> "Besides, you have so many spells protecting that thing, even _I_ can't nick it if want to sneak off somewhere by myself."
> 
> James pretended to look shocked, and put a hand over his heart.
> 
> "What's this? Remus J. Lupin, teacher's pet, wanting to _sneak off?_ Actually wanting to break a _school rule? _I can't believe you, Moony. I thought you were above that."
> 
> "Need I remind you that it is _you,_ not me, Prongs, who is Head Boy?"
> 
> James scowled. "You're never going to let me forget that, are you?"
> 
> I smirked. "Are you kidding? Two years ago I would have taken _Divination_ seriously before believe Dumbledore would make you _Head Boy."_
> 
> There was a pause, in which I imprinted upon my memory the feeling of saying something James had no comeback for. He found, one eventually, about 30 seconds later- again, pathetic.
> 
> "But Evans is Head Girl. It's not that bad, you know, spending all that time with her. She thinks I'm a good role model. I reckon I've nearly got her convinced- next time I ask her out, she's going to say yes." James had puffed out his chest, now looking proud of himself.
> 
> "Lost cause, Prongs. Lost cause."
> 
> James, being the childish prat that he is, stuck his tongue out at me. I laughed.
> 
> "Is anybody else hungry?" asked Peter. We both stared at him.
> 
> "You just ate a load of Honeydukes sweets, Wormtail!" James said incredulously.
> 
> "Not that you needed it," I added, gesturing at Peter's round belly. He grinned sheepishly.
> 
> "But it was only a galleon's worth of chocolate," he protested, his face a bright red.
> 
> James shook his head in amazement. Then he looked up at Sirius, who was sitting on a fence and had been mysteriously quiet. It was very unlike him.
> 
> "Sirius, what's up?" said James curiously. "I haven't seen you this quiet since Filch caught you bewitching that suit of armor to kick Mrs. Norris whenever she passed-" but he stopped in mid-sentence, because he had finally figured out who Sirius was staring at. I didn't need to look to know who it was- I, too, had been having trouble trying not to stare at her: Sami Jackson.
> 
> "Oooohhhh . . ." James said in comprehension. Or perhaps it was because Lily, Sami's best friend, was sitting on the grass talking to her.
> 
> I gave up trying not to look, and my eyes darted back and forth between the girls and my friends' faces.
> 
> Sirius was watching Sami with a dreamy expression on his face. She and Lily were both giggling over who knows what, and, let me tell you, she looked extremely pretty. It was taking a lot of self-control not to fall victim to the same silly grin Sirius was wearing.
> 
> James, as usual, was unconsciously running his hand through his hair. Peter was gazing hungrily at the large box of Honeydukes chocolates the girls were sharing.
> 
> Sami and Lily had just pulled a Zonko's cracker, and hundreds of tiny white butterflies burst from the end of it. I watched them, mesmerized.
> 
> "Still dreaming about that Sami Jackson?" said James smugly, having recovered from his reverie. "She's a looker, all right, but you can have her as long as I get Lily."
> 
> Sirius looked as though he had been mortally wounded by this insult. Pathetic once again.
> 
> "A looker? Is that all?" he said indignantly. "You don't know the half of it! She's sweet, and she's funny, and she's intelligent--"
> 
> When his ranting didn't stop, I began to get annoyed. Inwardly I was screaming, "I _know,_ I _know,_ just shut up! She doesn't belong to you!"
> 
> Before I knew what I was doing, I had pulled out my wand.
> 
> "We've heard it before, Padfoot," I snapped. "But if you don't mind, we'd like to continue the previous, slightly more important discussion."
> 
> I stopped, horrified. James and Peter were staring at me. Fear washed over me, that they might get suspicious I had cut him off- and guilt, from my jealously. Sami didn't belong to me, either. Sirius had opened his mouth to retort.
> 
> "Unless, of course, you're finally gonna ask her out?" I added hastily. Sirius closed his mouth, looking embarrassed, and glanced down the street at Sami again.
> 
> James spoke up, wearing his trademark 'I-think-I've-got-a-great-idea-that-will-actually-get-all-of-us-into-touble' look. I groaned before the words were even out of his mouth.
> 
> "Hey, Sirius, do you know if Sami likes furry black dogs?"
> 
> Great. We're doomed.
> 
> Sirius Black, being, of course, Sirius Black, didn't stop to think about the consequences. No, half a second later, the idiot was already bounding across the street. Lily noticed him immediately, which made me nervous- had she seen him transform?
> 
> "What if she finds out about us?" Peter whispered fearfully. "What if she tells Dumbledore? We could be thrown in jail!" His lip trembled.
> 
> "Well, that's kind of _obvious_," I hissed back. Then I turned to James. "Why did you say that to him?" I asked accusingly. "You're so _reckless,_ Prongs! Anything could happen!"
> 
> "Come on, nothing will happen. He's just having some fun, look." He gestured towards Sami, Lily and Sirius just as Lily gestured back at James and scowled.
> 
> Sami, on the other hand, was indeed having a great time, romping around with the bear-like black dog that was Sirius and feeding him Bertie Bott's Beans. Soon Lily had turned her back on us and was playing with Sirius too. You could tell that Sirius was giving most of his attention to Sami, though. I felt my jealously begin to surface again. Gulping, I forced it down.
> 
> On and on it went. Sami and Lily were having no trouble getting Sirius to do elaborate tricks for the Beans, because he was _human_...Sami was laughing and laughing, her curly hair swinging back and forth and her bright green eyes crinkling at the corners. For the millionth time, I wished that I wasn't a werewolf and was just a regular animagus like the others.
> 
> "What a show-off," James said to us, but he was joking and even I had to grin when Sirius caught a bean in his mouth that Sami had thrown to him. But the grin was half-hearted all the same.
> 
> Between them, Sami and Lily ended up feeding Sirius every last bean. Every last one! The sun had started to set, casting eerie shadows on the Shrieking Shack, and a cool breeze had come up before Lily finally checked her watch.
> 
> She said something to Sami, who stood up, and they began to walk back down the road towards Hogwarts. Sami turned and waved at Sirius just before she turned the corner. My heart sank somewhere into my stomach.
> 
> Sirius bounded back towards us and transformed. His face was flushed, and you could tell he was on Cloud 9.
> 
> "Hey guys," he said happily, panting and smiling at the same time. "I'd say that went pretty well."
> 
> -------------------------------

> I remember back in fifth year, when James, Sirius and Peter finally completed the transformation as animagi for the very first time, we all took an oath. The main basis was to always help out our fellow Marauders in times of need, and stuff like that.
> 
> Then we each got to add something slightly more personal to the oath. We went in the order we signed our names on the Marauders' Map, which was really just the order we thought our nicknames sounded best: Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs. There is a copy of the oath hidden in the Marauders' Map, which you can only see if you know the right passwords. But I'm not going to tell you what they are.
> 
> I went first, saying that we should all try not to let any one of us do something that would be sure to get us expelled, because at that point we were very close to crossing the line. I guess that part held true, because, against all odds, James pulled Snape back when Sirius told him how to get past the Whomping Willow last year.
> 
> Peter went next, and said that we should remain loyal to each other, and protect one another if one of us was in danger. His and mine were the only two serious, noble requests.
> 
> Sirius, going third, said we should always try hard to honorably hold the position of Troublemakers-in-Chief. And to make Snivellus's life as miserable as possible.
> 
> James went last, and was a little upset that Sirius had used the Snivellus bit, because that had been what he was going to say. So, thinking fast, he said that none of the Marauders should ever let a girl come between them, because persuading Lily to go out with him had become such a big part of his daily schedule. And because the girls were all over Sirius as well.
> 
> Then we all swore to follow these rules, and signed our names at the bottom.
> 
> Well, sorry, Prongs, but I think I've broken your Amendment to the oath.
> 
> I don't want Sami to come between Sirius and me, I really don't- especially because he doesn't even know I feel the same way about her that he does. If he ever found out, boy, I'd be in for it. But the fact is, if she ends up going out with him, I just might lose it.
> 
> These were the thoughts running through my head as I climbed into my four-poster at the top of Gryffindor Tower. After we had dragged Sirius to his feet, my friends and I walked back to the castle, discussing our plans for the full moon again. Sirius was lagging behind us, staring at the sunset. Let's just say he was reveling in his own luck, and not paying the slightest bit of attention to anything going on in the real world. Twice James had to double back because Sirius had wandered off the path, and once he pulled him back just before he walked into a tree.
> 
> Pathetic.
> 
> With a snort I rolled over and pulled the blankets up to my chin. I looked out the sliver of window I could see from my bed. The moon was suspended, almost full, but not quite. I shivered and close my eyes.
> 
> But when I opened them again, I was no longer in Gryffindor Tower.
> 
> **.................................................................**

> What do ya think? This was a pretty long Chapter, and it only took me a week, too!
> 
> **Snuffles2984**: I didn't keep you waiting! Well, seven days, but that's not too bad, right?
> 
> **BlackNight** and **Smiley-Freak :D** : Sorry, I know it was a little weird, but I didn't want to explain it all. Hopefully it'll keep you in suspense ;)
> 
> **BlackLupin**: Did I actually post a chapter _before_ you?! Weird! I don't think that's ever happened; usually I see you updated and then hurry up and finish the chapter I was working on. Oh well. Update soon! And yes, I did receive your email, it made me happy
> 
> **alwaysginny** and **sweetqtpie072689**: Sorry there was no review song this chapter, I wanted to get it posted quickly. It seems both of you have doubts about the other member's singing ability...but that's half the fun, isn't it, that we all stink? Barney stinks, after all...grin
> 
> (Mutters under breath) Reviews...
> 
> -Padfoot-Dreamer-


	5. Remus, Present

> **Chapter 5: Waking up**
> 
> **Moony's Story**
> 
> Yay! A snow day! I love snow. The extra time also gave me a great opportunity to work on this Chapter, so here it is! (Begs for reviews)
> 
> **................................................................................................**

> I kept my eyes closed, trying in vain to pull back the details of the dream. They were slipping out of reach, to become memories once again, instead of reality. It was hopeless. Disappointed, I opened my eyes.
> 
> Bright sunlight was shining into the room through the edges of my window shade. I snapped my eyes shut again; the intensity of the light was painful.
> 
> So, once again, I tried to fall back to sleep. I wanted to be in Hogsmeade again, to see Sami laughing again . . .even if my jealousy, at the time, had overcome the funny feeling in my stomach I had always had when looking at her.
> 
> _Stupid_, said an annoying little voice in my head, _you can see Sami laugh any time you want, she's right downstairs._
> 
> _So?_ I argued back. _Where have you been? She started going out with Sirius in 7th year. Then we all thought she had died, but she was actually Harry's owl Hedwig. Now Sirius has her back, and hardly lets her out of his sight for a minute._
> 
> _Ah,_ said the voice smugly, _But you're over Sami Jackson. There's a different girl now you're always thinking about. Don't you remember what happened in your love life in 7th year, or can you only recall what happened in Sirius's?_
> 
> If this voice weren't actually in my own head, I would have punched the person speaking with it. _I remember fine, _I replied curtly.
> 
> _So then why do you want to see Sami laugh?_
> 
> I restrained myself from replying nastily. This was, after all, probably my conscience, and if a wizard insults his conscience it will never shut up.
> 
> _Because I liked her when I was 17, and I was 17 in the dream. That doesn't mean I have to have a crush on her right now. And I don't._
> 
> _Ha, _said my conscience. _So, right now, since you're not 17, it's not Sami Jackson you want to see laugh, is it? _
> 
> _Shut up,_ I said.
> 
> _Are you sure you wanted to say that?_
> 
> _Ok, fine! I want to see Mara Wilson laugh. Now will you shut up?_ I answered, miffed. 
> 
> _If you admit that I was right. _
> 
> I groaned. _Why are you so stuck up?_ _You're worse than James and Sirius._
> 
> _Because I am always right._
> 
> I would have rolled my eyes if they were open. _Fine, you were right. Now go away._

> Someone knocked sharply on the door, accompanied by a very loud bark. I groaned again and yanked the blankets over my head.
> 
> The door swung open slowly. Heavy paws pounded across the floor, and jumped onto my bed. Normal footsteps followed them. I opened my eyes, squinting in the bright light.
> 
> "Go away, Sirius. However late you may think it is, don't forget that the rest of us enjoy sleeping in when we're on vacation," I mumbled. It was a lie. I never slept in, normally I was the one up at the crack of dawn and Sirius slept in until noon. Lately, though, Sirius had been getting up earlier than me.
> 
> Sirius barked and stole my pillow. I quickly put my hands over my head for protection. Sure enough, the pillow came crashing down on my head seconds later, scattering feathers across the room.
> 
> "I like to sleep in, too, but Sirius always wakes me up first thing in the morning," Sami said ruefully. She had followed Sirius into the room. Sami waved her wand and suddenly there was a large flurry of feathers, as they all flew back into the pillow. She threw it back at me, but Sirius leapt in front of my outstretched hands and caught it in his mouth.
> 
> "_Sirius!_" Sami chided. The pillow fell from his mouth, but I didn't touch it.
> 
> "Well, I don't want it _now,_" I told the great black dog, as he looked at me with a disgruntled expression. Sirius toppled off the bed gracelessly and transformed.
> 
> "Come on, Moony, get up. You've already missed breakfast. It's a beautiful day; the kids are all out swimming and everything. Everyone else is up."
> 
> "But I'm tired. Full moon was last week."

> "You've had plenty of time to get some sleep since then!" Sirius said in exasperation. "We only have two weeks left here; one until Sami has to leave for Hogwarts to organize her office and lesson plans." He and Sami exchanged smiles. Sami was going to be the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts- all of us were hoping she'd last longer than her predecessors.
> 
> "Which reminds me, haven't you got Auror training soon? How soon can we get rid of you?" I asked innocently. I didn't duck fast enough when he tried to smack me.
> 
> "Not until the middle of September," he said, smirking. "You'll just have to try to endure my good looks and witty personality till then."
> 
> "I'll do my best," I said sarcastically. "Now get out, I want to take a shower." Sami left, dragging Sirius behind her by his wrist. Shaking my head, I threw the covers back and headed towards the bathroom.
> 
> ------------------------------------------
> 
> The hot water was invigorating and soothing at the same time, and I stood under the spray until it had worked all the kinks and pains out of my tired muscles. When I finally stepped out of the shower, the entire bathroom was steamy. I rubbed the mirror with my palm until I could vaguely see myself, then toweled my hair dry, leaving it messy. I didn't have the energy to use a comb.
> 
> I grabbed the first pair of jeans and tee shirt I could find and pulled them on. Then, bracing myself, I pulled open the shade. To my relief, the sun's rays were not as piercingly bright as they had been, but filled the room and gave it a warm glow. The sky was a clear, distinct blue, and you could hear birds singing. It really was a beautiful day.
> 
> _Kind of like the weather in Hogsmeade,_ I thought.
> 
> Feeling a lot more cheerful, I left the room and walked downstairs.
> 
> The living room, which was the first room you came upon after walking downstairs, was a cozy place, with many squashy armchairs and couches placed around it in various shades of blue. My favorite part about it, though, was the large bay window overlooking the lake. Someone had opened it slightly, allowing a soft breeze to come in. I smiled, my good mood increasing, but at the same time I felt a sense of loss that there were only two weeks left of summer. Then it was back to Grimmauld Place for me- I kept Sirius company there, ever since I had sold my apartment after I gave up the Defense Against the Dark Arts position at Hogwarts. See, after it got out I was a werewolf, the abuse didn't stop and I had to move. _Now Sami will be teaching my old subject,_ I thought. _She'll be a good teacher, though. She deserves it._
> 
> When I walked in, Molly, Tonks, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny were lounging in the chairs, eating sandwiches. Sami was there, too, but she was sitting on a couch. There was a large dog sprawled across her lap. She was rubbing his ears.
> 
> It struck me how odd it was to see the two of them at this time of day. For most of the summer, they had gone off alone every morning to who knows where, and didn't return until late at night. I guess they really had a lot to catch up on.

> It had also become noticeable that Sirius spent a lot of time in his Animagus form lately. If you ever passed his and Sami's bedroom in the middle of the night, you never saw two humans. What you would see instead was a gorgeous snowy owl on top of the comforter, her head tucked under her wing, and a huge black dog curled protectively around her. It was a rare sight to see Sirius as a dog before Sami came back, but now he was a dog all the time. I suppose they must have some kind of deeper connection when they're both animals.
> 
> Sami was still a bit reluctant to stay in her Animagus form for long periods of time, though, because she had spent over a decade and a half like that already. It was more normal (from what Harry and Ron had told me, anyway, sometimes they liked to the follow the two Animagi and spy on them) to see Sami as a human and Sirius following her around as a dog. How many girlfriends have both a stunningly handsome man (in the humble words of Sirius) _and_ a dog to cuddle up to for a boyfriend? That might be why I haven't had many girlfriends.
> 
> Yeah, werewolves aren't very cute or cuddly.
> 
> Anyway, I walked in and collapsed into the chair next to Tonks, who currently had pale blonde hair and blue eyes. Sirius snickered (it is very disturbing to hear a dog snicker) and I knew what he was thinking: he's convinced himself that I'm secretly in with love with the young Metamorphmagus. But truthfully, I'm not—it just turned out that the seat next to her was the only one left. Molly handed me a sandwich, which I accepted gratefully.
> 
> "How's the swimming?" I asked, addressing Harry, Ron and the rest. All of them had wet hair, and Ginny and Hermione were still in their bathing suits.
> 
> "Pretty good," answered Ginny, taking a large bite out of her sandwich.
> 
> "Fred and George bewitched the rope," said Ron disgustedly, referring to the one Mr. Weasley had put up over the water for the kids to swing on.
> 
> "It was really very clever, what they did," said Hermione matter-of-factly.
> 
> "Hilarious, you mean," corrected Harry, grinning.
> 
> "What did they do?" asked Tonks curiously.
> 
> "I don't want to talk about it," groaned Ron, rubbing his shoulder and looking at the floor.
> 
> "Let's just say it involved Ron flying through the air at large heights, like the people they shoot out of canons at Muggle circuses," smirked Harry.
> 
> "Hey!" Ron said indignantly, and then he chased Harry out the door. Hermione and Ginny followed, laughing.
> 
> Sirius had transformed, and was watching Harry and Ron go with a wistful sort of expression on his face. His arm had snaked around Sami's waist, and she was leaning comfortably onto his shoulder.
> 
> "Why did you sleep so late, Remus?" Molly asked me, as soon as the kids were out of earshot. "You've never slept that late before. Sami and Sirius tell me it was because the full moon was recently, but what was the real reason?"
> 
> I coughed, feeling a pink tinge rise in my cheeks. My friends knew me too well.
> 
> "Well . . .umm . . .I had an . . .interesting dream, which lasted longer than normal dreams do, I guess," I stammered, not having enough time to think up a reasonable lie. Molly gave me a stern look, but out of the corner of my eye I saw a look of comprehension flash over Sirius's face.
> 
> "Hey . . .Molly . . ." he said slowly, and my eyes locked on him. "We've run out of sandwiches. Could you get us some more, please?"
> 
> "Of course," Molly said, not suspecting Sirius was trying to get her out of the room, and bustled off to the kitchen.
> 
> "So," said Sirius in a very business-like way that reminded me of Hermione, "You've been having dreams about your 7th year, haven't you?"
> 
> I stared at him, shocked. "How did you know?"
> 
> Sirius looked at Sami for a long moment. "I had them too, right before Harry ran off to the Department of Mysteries and Sami revealed herself."
> 
> _"What?"_ said Sami in surprise. "You never told me that! I had dreams like that around that same time."
> 
> "You never told me _that,"_ said Sirius wryly.
> 
> "Well, it's obviously not a coincidence," said Tonks. "I even remember telling you that it might be an omen. And I was right!" She looked at Sirius triumphantly.
> 
> "But what does all this mean for _me?_" I asked, confused.
> 
> "Well, what did you see?" asked Sirius.
> 
> I opened my mouth, but closed it immediately. I'd been about to tell him about the talk I'd had with Mara, but Sirius had never known about that, and I certainly wasn't going to tell him now.
> 
> "The day in Hogsmeade when you first transformed and Sami fed you Bertie Bott's Beans," I said quietly.
> 
> "That's how my dream started too!" said Sirius, amazed.
> 
> "And mine as well," added Sami.
> 
> I was about to ask more about what these dreams meant, but just then Molly walked back into the room with another tray full of sandwiches. The conversation was over-- for now.
> 
> **......................................................................................**
> 
> I didn't really explain much about what was going on, because I assumed you had all read my other story, but basically, here's the deal: Remus was just _dreaming_ about his 7th year. What he was dreaming about really happened, but at the moment he's the adult we know him as from the books, and he just woke up. Of course, it seems that more than one Marauder has been dreaming about his past . . .is it all linked? Hmm . . .
> 
> Also, with the whole conscience thing, it was basically reminding him that while he liked Sami when he was 17, he's in love with someone else now- Mara. I know you all saw the whole romance thing between them coming, so I won't pretend it doesn't exist.
> 
> Oh, and I hope you don't mind, but the next chapter is going to be from Remus's POV as well. I could have made this chapter and the next one chapter, but I decided not to because it would have been **extremely** long and would have had too much information in it. Sorry that 3 chapters in row will be from one POV, but try and bear with me, guys.
> 
> And now, to reply to the reviewers:
> 
> **Snuffles2984**: I tried to update fast . . .took me what? 11 days? (blushes) Oh, sorry. Well, at least this chapter didn't have a cliffhanger, right? That's gotta be a good thing!
> 
> **Jadelight**: Hoorah! Another Sirius lover! He's the best. And sorry, this chapter didn't have much Voldemort- Mara info, but the next chapter will have a lot of it (even though it's from Remus's POV!)
> 
> **BlackLupin**: All in good time, all in good time. Remus might need a good, hard kick to make him come to his senses, though. ;)
> 
> **Cestari**: Glad you came back for more! I feel special now. I'm glad you think this one's up to standard!
> 
> **BlackKat**: Actually, when I said that, I was referring to SilverPhoenix25-- but I do know FluffyPinkFlamingo personally, she's a good friend of mine. Did you find my story through hers? Glad you did, if that's how you found it. I was the one who helped get her hooked on this site, so you can thank me for having a hilarious story like hers to read. At least, I like to think it had something to do with me. (Shrugs)
> 
> -Padfoot-dreamer-


	6. Remus, Present

> **Chapter 6: A Surprising, Thought Not Completely Unexpected, Announcement**
> 
> **Moony's Story**
> 
> I've noticed quite a few of you are very interested in the whole Mara/ Voldemort thing going on. Hopefully this chapter will satisfy you. Also, I was kind of unhappy with the first chapter, so I went back and added Mara's POV as well to the introduction. You don't have to read it, it's just that now I, as the author, feel that the story makes more sense. Enjoy the chapter
> 
> **.........................................................................................**

> Laughter echoed loudly around the table. Fred and George were explaining, in great detail, a trick they had pulled that day in their new joke shop. Apparently, Crabbe and Goyle had unknowingly stumbled in.
> 
> "Those gits must have thought it was a candy store," said George, grinning.
> 
> "And most likely they still do. They're that stupid," continued Fred.
> 
> Supposedly, the twins had wanted to pull a good prank for a while now, and when Crabbe and Goyle walked in the door- with the absence of Malfoy quite noticeable- they had seemed like the perfect victims. The plan Fred and George had come up with involved Headless Hats and Puking Pastilles. Immediately the whole table had reacted- some, such as Harry and Ron, with anticipation and excitement shining on their faces, while others, such as myself and Mrs. Weasley, braced themselves for the worst.
> 
> "Fred and I each grabbed a Headless Hat- we made sure they were both pink and fluffy, of course, to pay homage to our dear Professor Umbridge- and walked up to the great oafs-"
> 
> "And said, 'would you like to try on some of our quality hats, I'm sure they'd look just smashing on you,'" interrupted Fred enthusiastically.
> 
> "But we made sure there were Permanent Sticking Charms on them first," added George.
> 
> Already Ron was in silent fits of laughter. You could tell Harry was close to losing control himself.
> 
> "They considered it for about 30 seconds, but soon we realized they weren't smart enough to make decisions on their own, so we jammed them on their heads," George continued brightly. Harry burst out laughing. Ginny was now giggling as well. Hermione gave her a reproving glare, but Ginny gasped, "You can't say it's not true, though," and a fresh wave of giggles overcame her.
> 
> "So now both their heads are invisible, and we come to the best part," said Fred solemnly. "The Puking Pastilles." Mrs. Weasley buried her head in her arms, muttering something incoherent that sounded very much like "Where did I go wrong?"
> 
> "We knew it wasn't going to be hard, because Crabbe and Goyle will eat anything that isn't moving. So we rip off half of the chew, the kind that makes you throw up, that is, and pretend it's an orange flavored chocolate."
> 
> "'Just in, our brand new flavors of chocolate, would you like a sample?' we said, and immediately they hold out their great pudgy fists for the things." Fred was having a hard time keeping a straight face as he tried to tell the story. Charlie, Bill and Tonks were all doubled over laughing.
> 
> "You can probably figure out the rest. They stuffed them in their invisible mouths, started puking all over the place and ran out the door. I can still remember the screams," said George wistfully. "I guess it's not very common to see two headless wizards running through Diagon Alley."
> 
> "Wizards who also happen to be puking," Fred pointed out.
> 
> "Yeah, nearly forgot that part," said George.
> 
> Hermione wrinkled her nose. "You two have a sick sense of humor," she said. "What if they never stop throwing up?"
> 
> "Oh, we made sure we put the other half of the chew in their front pockets," said George carelessly. "They'll find it eventually."
> 
> "And I doubt they'll stop to wonder what it is before eating it," added his twin. "So they aren't really in any danger."
> 
> "And what if their heads stay invisible forever?" demanded Mrs. Weasley accusingly. "You said you put a Permanent Sticking Charm on the hats! Why, if the Ministry finds out what you've done, they'll--"
> 
> "Stop ruining all the fun!" said Ron indignantly. "It was a brilliant plan! Crabbe and Goyle are too thick to remember their birthdays, let alone the last person who gave them food."
> 
> Well, he had a point.
> 
> "Yes, brilliant just like the trick they played on you with the rope," teased Harry. Ron turned pink and pantomimed hitting Harry with a bat.
> 
> "Back to your question, Mum," said George briskly. "We've got it covered. The invisibility spell wears off after a few hours-"
> 
> "Few days, actually," corrected Fred cheerfully.
> 
> "Yes, what Fred said- and, well, if those two trolls end up wearing fluffy pink hats for the rest of their lives because they can't get them off, so be it. Better them than us."
> 
> "Besides, it does wonders for their complexion," Fred said smugly. Even those who hadn't been laughing, such as Sami and Mr. Weasley, had to join in at that one.
> 
> I shook my head, a small smile on my face. Those two reminded me so much of me and my fellow Marauders . . .
> 
> "Pass the potatoes, Sirius," I said. Sirius, who had been throwing uneasy looks at Sami every few seconds, jumped.
> 
> "W- what?" he asked, stuttering. "Oh- of course- here, Moony." He pushed the plate across the table. I raised an eyebrow.
> 
> "What's got you all jumpy?" I asked. "I thought Sirius Black was never nervous."
> 
> Sirius gave that barking laugh of his. "Nervous? I- I'm not nervous, what makes you think I'm nervous?" He stuffed his shaking hands in his pockets. I rolled my eyes and decided not to pry. I'd find out what was going on sooner or later. Instead I piled another helping of mashed potatoes on my plate.
> 
> Eventually everyone calmed down from the Fred/George scene and continued eating more of Mrs. Weasley's wonderful cooking. As much as I was enjoying the food, I wanted dinner to be over so I could ask Sirius more about the dreams I was having. Dessert came, and just as I was about to dig into a vanilla pudding Sami stood up. All talking ceased as everyone turned to look at her. Sirius stood up as well and put his arm around her shoulders.
> 
> "Er . . ." he began, looking nervous. "We have an announcement, everybody." Here he paused, and looked at Sami with a hopeless expression.
> 
> "Come on, spit it out!" chorused the twins. Mrs. Weasley smacked George, who was closest.
> 
> The entire table watched Sirius expectantly. He opened and closed his mouth several times, making him look like a fish.
> 
> "Since Sirius isn't going to say it, I will," Sami said suddenly. She didn't sound the least bit nervous, rather, as though she was about to tell a secret she had been dying to tell. Sami pulled something small and round out of her pocket.
> 
> "We're engaged," she announced happily, slipping the ring onto her finger and holding up her hand. "And we're getting married in two weeks."
> 
> In the complete chaos that followed, the only thing I can remember is feeling so dizzy I was about to faint.
> 
> **-----------------------------------------------------**

> I was frantically looking for an escape to the stairs. The room was in turmoil, with all the girls squealing and talking about dresses and such with Sami. The men were clapping Sirius on the back, who was grinning now that the cat was out of the bag. In other words, my path was completely blocked.
> 
> I started to sweat, feeling claustrophobic. I looked around wildly. Molly had just moved away from the cluster of witches surrounding Sami, to open a bottle of champagne. I squeezed between Ginny and Tonks and walked towards the stairs as quickly as I could without drawing attention.
> 
> "Hey, Moony!" Sirius yelled over all the noise. I turned.
> 
> "Will you be best man?"
> 
> I nodded, then escaped to the stairs.
> 
> By the time I was halfway up I couldn't hear anybody anymore, and I had started to calm down. Panting, I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes.
> 
> I wasn't upset because I still had feelings for Sami, I decided. While it was true that she was my first crush, I just didn't feel that way about her anymore. I _was_ happy for Sirius, I really was . . .
> 
> Wasn't I?
> 
> Yes, I was. But in the corner of my mind an annoying little voice was saying, _There goes the last Marauder._
> 
> I clenched my fists. It was true. One was dead, one was a traitor, and one was getting married. Where did that leave me?
> 
> With no one.
> 
> I was thoroughly miserable. I had never wanted my friends back so badly. What happened? We were good people. Pranksters, yes, but you're only young once. Why did it have to be _me?_ Didn't I already have enough to deal with?
> 
> Suddenly a huge wave of raw happiness rushed through me. I stumbled, my head pounding as joy and excitement rushed through my veins. Laughter was ringing in my ears, laughter that was coming from my own mouth. Something good had happened. Something I had been waiting for for a very, very long time . . .
> 
> Slowly the emotion ebbed away. I clutched my head, scared half out of my mind, and ran the rest of the way to my room.
> 
> **--------------------------------------------------**

> I looked up from my position on the floor. My room was completely dark, but the door to my room was glowing with a soft red light. It was probably Sirius. He'd tried to get in the room three times already that night, but I'd used the most complex locking charm I knew. I didn't feel like talking to anyone.
> 
> My head was still aching from everything that had happened. My best friend was getting married, and in two weeks, no less. I was to be the best man. That meant I had to make a speech . . .I groaned. Somewhere outside an owl hooted. I wondered vaguely if it was Sami.
> 
> But my thoughts kept coming back to the random burst of happiness I had had on the stairs. The way I had felt at the time certainly wasn't happy or cheerful. Maybe I was coming down with something. I forced myself to believe that, and pushed all thought on the subject from my mind.
> 
> So, once again, I found myself brooding over the wedding. Yippee.
> 
> The annoying little voice had returned. _Why aren't you getting married, Remus? The years are passing by, you know. You might want to hurry up and get yourself a girl._
> 
> Before I could retort, the voice had gone.
> 
> You pathetic excuse for a wizard, I thought to myself. If I hadn't been such an idiot all those years ago, Mara- for she was the only girl I'd ever been able to think about for years- would be with me right now. Then my conscience wouldn't be able to tease me about marriage . . . but no. I just couldn't listen when she asked me to; I was too wrapped up in myself. It was all my fault.
> 
> All my fault . . .
> 
> Silently I rose and walked over to my dresser. I yanked open the drawer on the bottom and started hunting around. I couldn't find it; what I was looking for. Impatiently I began tossing clothes out of the drawer.
> 
> Bingo! My fingers collided with the soft leather spine of a book. Gently I grasped the edges and lifted it from the bottom of the drawer. Clutching it to my chest, I sank down onto the edge of my bed. I waved my wand and soon was holding a beam of light in my hand.
> 
> I blew dust off the cover off the book and dug my fingers into the groove between the pages that had come from looking at the same page so many times. I flipped the book open and, holding the beam of light close, gazed at the title.

**The Legend of "Passage aux Morts"**

> _The Legend of the Muggle Seer began in France in the Middle Ages, most likely because that is where the first known sighting was thought to be. The Seer in question, whose name is unknown, was known for her peculiar eye color, a shade of gray that was constantly changing based on her mood._
> 
> I smiled, remembering Mara's beautiful eyes and how it had felt to look into them.
> 
> _At first the Muggle woman was clueless as to her magical abilities. Her entire town shunned her after she gave one too many predictions, thinking she was mad._
> 
> People had thought Mara was mad, and they didn't limit themselves to verbal insults.
> 
> _One day a wizard who had heard about this Muggle's supposed fits found her and took her "under his wing." He observed her when she made predictions and came to the conclusion that the dead used her as a way to pass messages to those who were still alive. These included prophecies, warnings, or sometimes a one or two word message for a loved one. _
> 
> This had stunned me the first time I had read it. Even now I was beginning to feel a tightening in my chest.
> 
> _This wizard gave her the name "Passage aux Morts," literally meaning "Gateway to the Dead." Affectionately he called her his "Yeux Gris," or "Grey eyes." Eventually the wizard and Muggle woman fell in love and married. _
> 
> She was Mara's great-great-great- and so on grandmother.
> 
> _While the Muggle found love, she was scorned by the rest of the world, who lived in fear of anyone who was connected to dead spirits. She and her husband went into hiding for the remainder of their lives, and soon after her death she was forgotten. Today there are very few people who have any records or knowledge about this woman at all._
> 
> Which is why I was so lucky I found this book.
> 
> _It is still possible, however, that the "Yeux Gris" had children while she was hiding. Over the past few centuries, there have been some reported sightings, although most of the witches and wizards reporting them did not realize what they had seen. The Muggles they describe are always girls with unusual large gray eyes, who sometimes fall to the floor for no reason and begin to mutter in an eerie voice. _
> 
> I had experienced this only once before, and it was extremely creepy.
> 
> _These girls seem to have a knack for being clumsy, and bad luck seems to follow them wherever they go. They do not lead happy lives. Sometimes the Seer blood in them is mistaken for actual wizarding blood, resulting in them being sent to a magical school. Unfortunately, the magic in a "Passage aux Morts" does not extend past her ability to serve as a passageway for the dead, so they often struggle in school._
> 
> Our classmates had constantly called her a Squib. She seemed like one, at the time, but I knew better than that now.
> 
> _1824 was the last time a student was suspected of being a descendent of the original "Passage aux Morts," and although she was secretly followed there is no proof that she was a "Passage aux Morts," or that she was related in any way to the original. There have been no reports of a girl fitting this description since._
> 
> I ran my hand over the page, trying to conjure a picture of Mara's face. It was difficult, which made me angry. I'd been away from her for so long I was having trouble remembering how she _looked?_
> 
> I returned my gaze to the bottom of the page, where I had taped a scrap of paper. The small print on it was written by Mara's hand.
> 
> _I don't know how much more of this I can take. Being connected to Voldemort like this is draining me of my energy and sanity . . . soon I won't even be able to think for myself anymore; I'll just be a slave to amuse him and do his bidding. When he's close by, I can sense what he's thinking, feel his pain and anger. When he's happy or pleased, I know. And if he's within the same building and you cut off my sight, hearing and touch, I'd find him. Our bond would draw me to him like a fly to a light. And like that, he is my doom._
> 
> _He wants me for a wife. I need to get away. I can't imagine him touching my bare skin the way a lover would. Remus, I love you, and if you ever find this, I want you to know you can break the connection . . .all you need to do is_
> 
> But what did I need to do? I would have done anything to help her escape from her cage, even if it meant my life. The page had been ripped at the last word. Obviously someone didn't want me to know what I had to do to save Mara. I smacked my forehead with my palm over and over. I wondered if she was even still alive . . .she had disappeared during 7th year- and it was my fault.
> 
> I stood up and began to rummage through the drawer again, pulling out parchment, ink and a quill. I would write her a letter. I could only pray she would write back.
> 
> **..................................................................................**

__

> Argh, I didn't update at all in February! The shame, the shame! (Author smacks herself for being so darn lazy) This had better not become a habit. Sorry, everybody!
> 
> **Jadelight**: Barney says to tell you thanks. At least someone likes his singing. ;)
> 
> **Rosemary the Rubix Cube**: Yay, a cookie! Although I didn't update fast, so I don't really deserve it :(
> 
> **BlackKat**: Yes, I completely agree, algebra is VERY boring. Glad you liked Mara's POV!
> 
> **sweetqtpie072689**, **Snuffles2984** and **alwaysginny**: thanks for reading/reviewing every chapter! Hope you liked this one!
> 
> **BlackLupin**: Yep, I'm totally up-to-date on For Better or For Worse! Great story, it is. Heh, there's a TV show on TLC called For Better or For Worse . . . makes me think of your story . . .update it soon please!
> 
> **shadows13**: Nope, not Barney the Purple Dinosaur, Barney my pet bat! {.,.} Hope this was enough Mara/ Voldemort info for you :)
> 
> -Padfoot-Dreamer-


	7. Mara, Past

> **Chapter 7: A Talk With Sami**
> 
> **Moony's Story**
> 
> We're back in Mara's POV now, and it's set during her 7th year at Hogwarts. Back to the Past! Hope you guys like it.
> 
> **...................................................................**

> Today we had Transfiguration with the Ravenclaws. The goal was to transform a dove into a bouquet of flowers, and to this day I can not figure out where this skill will get you in life. I suppose, if you were desperate, you could always get a job as a Muggle magician, though. The dove-into-flowers thing is a classic trick.
> 
> Professor McGonagall had, for an unknown reason, been extremely kind and let the class choose partners for the day. At least, that is what most of the students would say if you asked them. I, on the other hand, would reply that out of spitefulness towards me she forced the class to pair off.
> 
> "Now stand up and choose a partner," said Professor McGonagall. "But do it quickly. And I don't want any trouble today, especially from you two." She gestured at James and Sirius, who exchanged grins. "If you fool around, I'll take the liberty of giving extra homework. A _lot_ of extra homework." That was enough to stop the Marauders, at least.
> 
> Chatter broke out as everyone shoved their chairs back and surveyed the classroom for a possible partner. I remained seated, staring at my clenched fists. I knew exactly how this was going to end up, and I didn't like it at all. I was going to end up without a partner.
> 
> One by one my classmates sat down together and waited for further instructions. Silence fell over the room.
> 
> Professor McGonagall walked down the rows of desks.
> 
> "Miss Wilson, do you have a partner?" she asked, standing next to my chair and tapping her wand on my desk. Everyone turned around in their seats to stare at me.
> 
> My face was burning. I shook my head. McGonagall sighed, looking around to see if anyone else was stuck in a similar situation.
> 
> "Miss Jackson, don't you normally work with Miss Evans?"
> 
> I jerked my head upward so fast I cricked my neck. Rubbing it, I stared avidly at Sami.
> 
> "Yes," Sami answered nervously, "but Lily went to the hospital wing, she wasn't feeling well."
> 
> Professor McGonagall nodded. "Well, then, come over here. You can partner Mara."
> 
> Sami bent to gather her books, then shot me a small smile. I didn't return it. Remus was staring at Sami with a dreamy expression on his face. So was Sirius, who was partnering James. I couldn't believe it. She had two out of four Marauders crazy about her. Some girls have all the luck.
> 
> Gritting my teeth, I looked down again and didn't even acknowledge Sami's presence when she sat down next to me.
> 
> Professor McGonagall had returned to her desk and was ready to start the lesson.
> 
> "Will one person from each group please come to my desk to select a dove?" she asked. There was a second collective scraping of chairs as people began to move towards the large crate of white birds next to Professor McGonagall.
> 
> After an awkward moment of silence, Sami said, "I'll get it," and left. I rested my head on my arms and continued moping. Remus had sent Peter, his partner, to fetch the bird, and was still staring at Sami as she walked past him. I buried my face in my hands.
> 
> Sami had come back with the bird. She stroked it and it cooed at her softly. Even _birds _adored her.
> 
> "The incantation is 'Beau de Fleur.' You may begin." I wearily raised my head and pointed my wand at the dove.
> 
> "Beau de Fleur," I said as clearly as I could. Nothing happened. "Beau de Fleur," I repeated with an icy edge to my voice. Sami was watching me uneasily.
> 
> "_Beau de Fleur,"_ I hissed softly between my teeth. The dove looked at me with curious brown eyes and cocked its head.
> 
> "Perhaps I should--" Sami began suddenly, but I cut her off.
> 
> "No, I can do it. My wand's just faulty, that's all." There was no way I would let Sami take over when Remus was watching out of the corner of his eye.
> 
> "Beau de Fleur. Beau de Fleur! BEAU DE FLEUR!"
> 
> At that moment, although nothing had come out of my wand, there was a loud crack and the dove flew away in a blur of feathers, twittering angrily. Several people turned around and gave me exasperated looks.
> 
> _Idiot. She can't do anything right._ It was written all over their faces, and I had a strong urge to kick something.
> 
> Sami murmured "Accio!" and the agitated bird zoomed into her hand, where she began stroking its head to try and calm it. Then, with a flick of her wand, she said "Beau de Fleur!" and the bird burst into a gorgeous bouquet. I scowled and accidentally set the hem of my robes on fire.
> 
> "Right…well…I guess we're done, right?" Sami asked tentatively. I nodded, swatting at my robes. Sami abruptly struck up a conversation with Audrey Jakobs and Kelly Hayman, who were sitting in front of us.
> 
> I managed to squash out the small flames and then tried to find something that I could pretend to be interested in. I settled on my shoes.
> 
> Lately I had been feeling even more lonely than usual. Sure, I had never had any real friends here, but I had myself and my music and that had always been enough. And until now, Remus had never really had a love interest, and I had been able to convince myself that he was, and always would be, mine- I could slap myself for that.
> 
> No, I knew his feelings for Sami were real, and that made it worse. I saw the way he looked at her in Hogsmeade. I was there, hiding…
> 
> Feeling so lost and confused and- alone- had left me wavering on the brink of depression. This scared me, even more than the thought of losing Remus did. I had recently been making an effort to be more sociable, but so far the results were less than satisfactory.
> 
> I rubbed my eyes. I was exhausted today. Could have been that I was up so late with my guitar (I had been going without sleep lately, that's how much emotional stress I was under) but this kind of sleepiness was unnatural. My muscles were cramping up, and my eyesight was becoming slightly misty.
> 
> "Mara?" Sami asked, waving her hand in front of my face. I stared at her dreamily.
> 
> "Hmm?" I replied faintly, but I didn't feel my lips move…in fact, I realized, I had no control over them…
> 
> "Mara!" Sami repeated sharply, but her voice sounded muffled now, as if she was talking through a fuzzy radio. Audrey and Kelly were staring at me with worried expressions. They looked as if they were miles away. "Are you feeling alright?"
> 
> Dark, stormy clouds were now beginning to obscure my vision. But wait a moment- there weren't rain clouds in the classroom…
> 
> In a flash I realized what was happening. "NO!" I screamed, but nobody heard me. I gestured frantically, trying to move, but I was no longer the only occupant of my body.
> 
> Before everything went black, I remember feeling regret that I had to have my first 'connection' in a year in front of Remus and the rest of the class. Voldemort would not be pleased.
> 
> **----------------------------------------------------------**

> Slowly my eyes came back into focus. I was in the hospital wing. I stared at the ceiling for a few seconds, feeling completely fine, and decided I would ask Madam Pomfrey if I could leave. But when I sat up, I screamed, because I hadn't realized I had company.
> 
> Sami was sitting beside my bed, or had been, until I had screamed and she had fallen out of her chair.
> 
> "You're awake," she laughed, as she stood up and smoothed out her skirt.
> 
> I nodded mutely.
> 
> Sami looked uncomfortable for a second. "I came because I had to give Lily the Transfiguration homework," she said, and gestured two beds over, where I could see my cousin's long red hair falling across her pillow. "So I thought I'd bring yours as well."
> 
> She handed me the assignment, which was titled "_Describe, in detail, why the transformation we performed today in class is not permanent."_
> 
> "Thanks," I said shortly.
> 
> "No problem." There was a pause.
> 
> "Mara…" I knew what was coming, and braced myself for it. "What _happened?_ Why did you go all— spastic— like that?"
> 
> I sighed, letting the tightening in my chest loosen. "Oh, that," I said dismissively. "I've been feeling sick for awhile. No big deal. I'm feeling loads better now."
> 
> Sami gave me a stern look.
> 
> "I'm serious! Really…I want to know."
> 
> "Why?"
> 
> Sami looked at the floor. When she raised her eyes to mine, I was shocked to see that they were glistening with tears.
> 
> "Because…some of the stuff you said…made me think…that it was my grandfather who was speaking…instead of you."
> 
> My eyes widened. This was not something I had stopped to consider- once I had had a 'connection' where a young wizard had wanted to pass on a message to his wife, but it had taken me forever to hunt her down. No dead spirit had ever come through for someone I knew, or, for that matter, when the person they were trying to contact was in the same _room._
> 
> Sami was crying quietly. I stood up, concerned, and stumbled over to her.
> 
> "Are you okay?" I asked as kindly as I could, though I had the feeling that I sounded a little stiff. I wasn't good at these types of things.
> 
> Sami nodded. "Sorry," she sniffled.
> 
> "No problem," I said, and guided her to the bed. We both sat down.
> 
> "Now…what exactly did he- I mean I- I mean, oh, you know what I mean, say during the…when I got all 'spastic?'" My mouth was having trouble forming words. I couldn't give too much away, after all.
> 
> "I don't remember _exactly _what he said," Sami murmured, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.
> 
> "You _must_ remember," I urged. It was important that I knew the exact wording, just in case it had more than a simple grandfatherly message.
> 
> Sami knitted her eyebrows together, thinking hard. Then she suddenly opened her mouth and began reciting.
> 
> "_Are you there, my owl? I was killed…that horrible wizard got me after all…you are destined for great things. I can sense it now. Follow your heart, but don't forget that fear and pain can be a blessing as well as a curse…I love you. Don't forget me…this is goodbye, for awhile."_
> 
> Sami finished and looked at me expectantly. I realized my mouth was hanging open, and quickly closed it.
> 
> "Wow," I said finally.
> 
> "Yeah, wow," Sami echoed. She blinked a few times and rubbed the back of her neck, examining the mattress. "I had no idea I could remember it that well. When you actually said it, I only caught a few words, you know? I was too shocked to retain much. But then when you asked me to recite it, I remembered it perfectly."
> 
> As I watched Sami talk, I realized I was beginning to like her more and more. She looked as if she felt awkward, like I was, and I was amazed that someone who always seemed so confident and collected could feel the same as me. It made Sami seem more human. I had never thought of her as a person before, just as a rival. Maybe in time, I could think of her as a…a friend?
> 
> Hey, it was possible.
> 
> Sami hadn't stopped talking, but I had failed to listen to a word she said. "So, what do you think it all means?" she ended finally.
> 
> I shook my head slightly to clear it. "Well, let's go through it piece by piece and try to sort everything out," I suggested. "When did your grandfather die?"
> 
> "He was killed two days ago. But I only got the owl this morning. He…Voldemort did it. Not for any particular reason, just because my grandpa was Muggle-born."
> 
> My eyebrows rose. So Sami wasn't afraid to say the Dark Lord's name. That was quite an accomplishment, even for a seventh-year. A strong, defiant look had come over Sami's face when she said it.
> 
> "Okay…your grandfather certainly didn't waste any time trying to contact you, then. Makes sense, though, because he's been dead for a short period of time, which means he's more closely connected to the physical world…it would be harder for him to come through if he had been dead, for, say, a year."
> 
> "You know a lot about this," stated Sami, looking astonished.
> 
> I looked at her in horror. I had been thinking out loud…oops.
> 
> "I've been doing some reading on the subject lately." I said, once again trying to dismiss a touchy subject.
> 
> "And you just happened to have a seizure soon afterwards?"
> 
> "Erm…yeah, I guess. Strange, huh?" Real smooth, Mara. I inwardly smacked myself.
> 
> Sami gave me a slightly suspicious look. "Just a little." I think she picked up on my nervousness, though, because she dropped the subject.
> 
> "So, anyway, what else did your grandfather say…he mentioned that you were 'destined for great things,' do you have any clue what that means?" I asked.
> 
> "No," Sami said unconvincingly. I could tell she did know, but I wasn't going to press her for details, since she had been kind enough to drop subjects I was uncomfortable with.
> 
> "How about 'follow your heart, but don't forget that fear can be a blessing as well as a curse?'"
> 
> Sami smiled. "He was always saying that," she said happily. "He liked saying very cryptic things. It was one of the reasons I loved him so much."
> 
> "Were you very close?" I asked softly.
> 
> "Yeah," Sami replied, and there was a hint of sadness in her voice. "At least, we were on and off…he lived with my parents and me, but he got really mad when I got my acceptance letter to Hogwarts. I wish I knew _why…_I remember the fights he had with my parents, trying to convince them not to let me go. I used to sit in my room and listen to them yelling through the air vent. It was horrible. My parents were muggles, but they said that if I wanted to go, neither he nor they would stop me. After I came here, he moved out until my 5th year. By then he had clamed down and wanted to live with us again. Since then, we've been great friends. I could tell him everything, even things I didn't tell my parents. "
> 
> "I'm so sorry he died," I said sympathetically. I couldn't believe the things I was finding out about Sami from our discussion. As happy and cheerful as she always seemed, her life had been difficult. Not quite as difficult as mine, but nevertheless hard. I reached out and placed my hand on Sami's shoulder, a gesture I had never done before. Sami gave me a small, grateful smile. As I looked at her and reviewed the conversation in my head, something clunked into place, and I broke away from her.
> 
> "Wait a second," I said breathlessly. "Did you say your grandfather was a muggle?"
> 
> "Yeah," said Sami, looking confused. "Is that important?"
> 
> I nodded. "He couldn't have been a muggle, only wizards can come through when I…I mean, when people have seizures similar to mine. Are you sure he wasn't a wizard?"
> 
> Sami frowned. "Yes," she said indignantly. "I would know if he was. He told me tons of stuff about his past, he was very open with me."
> 
> I sighed. "Then how are you so sure this was really him? If he was really a muggle, there's no way he could have contacted you."
> 
> "I know it was him," Sami said stubbornly, "Because he called me 'my owl,' and I never told anyone except him and Dumbledore that I'm a snowy owl Animagus…oh my god."
> 
> I was sure that my jaw had dropped so low it was on the floor. I was literally in shock. Sami was looking at me, terror etched all over her face, with both hands covering her mouth.
> 
> "I…I have to go now," Sami mumbled quickly, and sprinted from the room.
> 
> **................................................................................**
> 
> Ahh! Two months?! Where on earth did two months go?? I have been extremely lazy with this story, and I'm sorry. I actually had the first half written for like 3 weeks, but didn't know how to finish until I had a sudden burst of creativity two days ago. Anyway, I'm going on vacation tomorrow, which is why I worked so hard to finish this chapter today. Hopefully you didn't all forget about me, lol.
> 
> **BlackLupin**: Sorry it's confusing, and that I've been away for so long! Your new chapters were great, hopefully mine makes up somewhat for the lack of updates? Anyway, if there's anything I can do to make the story seem less confusing, please tell me
> 
> **Snuffles2984**, **Smiley-Freak :D**, **Elfy-Elf Girl**, and **shadows 13**: Thanks a lot! Sorry this chapter took so long!
> 
> **BlackKat99**: Thanks a bunch for the review! I read your story "The Middle Realm" and it's great. I just realized that you've posted about 4 chapters since I last read it…just goes to show how long I've been away…next chance I get, I'll be sure to read them! Oh, and hoped you liked this chapter, since it was from Mara's POV.
> 
> **Daemon of the Lyre**: Thanks for adding me to your faves! Your review was very dramatic, lol. Again, I realize that even though you found the fic a month after I last updated, I still kept you waiting for another month. :(
> 
> My birthday was April 17th! I've officially been 14 for a week. A review would be an awesome late birthday present (wink wink nudge nudge)
> 
> -Padfoot-Dreamer-


	8. Mara, Past

> **Chapter 8: Secrets and Hidden Feelings**
> 
> **Moony's Story**
> 
> Well, at least it didn't take me two months, right? Two WEEKS, perhaps, but not two MONTHS. Yeah. Thanks a lot for the reviews! Here's the eighth chapter.
> 
> **..............................................................................................................**

> I sat, frozen, on the bed for a moment. Then I realized Sami had run off.
> 
> "Sami!" With a strangled cry, I leaped up from the bed and sprinted after her

> "Well, really!" I heard Madam Pomfrey cry as I dashed past her. "I still need to look at you, you know! You can't just leave!" I ignored her.
> 
> I burst through the doorway and into the corridor, looking left and right for a sign of Sami. Luckily, everyone was eating dinner in the Great Hall, so I didn't need to search through a crowd of students. I saw Sami's curly brown head almost at the end of the corridor on my left.
> 
> "Sami, wait!" I yelled desperately as I tore after her. Sam's head turned for a second, and I could see that her face was tear-streaked. Then she ran on, faster than ever. She turned right. I reached the cross-section a few seconds later and turned right, too.
> 
> "Please, stop! I need to talk to you!" I shouted. This time Sami didn't turn back, but I could see her shaking her head furiously as she ran.
> 
> Why wouldn't she talk to me? Sure, you didn't meet a student Animagus every day (was it even legal?) but it wasn't something you needed to hide. It wasn't dangerous for other people to know…was it? Maybe Sami _did_ have something to be scared of. But so did I! She couldn't honestly believe she was the only one with secrets.

> 'Well,' I thought, 'If she won't stop herself, I'll make her…'

> I fumbled with my robes for my wand. My fingers touched wood, and I pulled it out, pointed it at Sami's back, and whispered "Impedimenta!"
> 
> Nothing happened at all—in my haste to stop Sami in her tracks, I had completely forgotten about my inaptitude with magic.
> 
> I moaned. For once, why couldn't I be a normal witch? Why did I have to be so much like a Squib?
> 
> I decided to try again. "Impedimenta!" I said nervously, trying not to trip over my own two feet. Sami was starting to get so much of a lead that I was going to lose her. She was about to turn another corner, and I wasn't even halfway down the corridor yet.
> 
> Again, absolutely _nothing_ happened. I am such a complete failure. I had seen fourth years perform this spell successfully, and here I was in my seventh year, about to graduate, struggling to do the Impediment Jinx.
> 
> I would try one last time. "IMPEDIMENTA!" I roared. I was thrilled when a beam of light shot out of my wand—

> Except that it came out of the wrong end.

> I was blasted off my feet in a shower of red sparks and landed some six feet away on my back. The pain made my eyes water and knocked all the air clear out of my lungs. I struggled violently to move, but it was hopeless. I had finally successfully performed the Impediment Jinx- _on myself._

> I am such a complete and utter _failure!_

> Slowly, the spell began to wear off. After about 30 seconds, I was able to raise my head. Sami had disappeared. Well, I hadn't really expected her to hang around and wait for me.

> _Curse_ me and my clumsiness!

> I impatiently waited until I had regained use of my legs, then, moaning, scrambled upwards and ran to the end of the corridor. It was then that I realized I had no clue which way Sami had gone.

> _Double_ curse me and my clumsiness!

> I had to think, but my mind was swirling and I couldn't imagine where she had gone. For a second I was scared that maybe she had run to the Ravenclaw common room—there was no way I'd be able to get in there, I didn't even know where it was! But no, Sami was too smart to go there when she knew I was following her. She'd lead me right to it, plus I'd see her use the password.
> 
> Where did girls go when they were upset? Think…I really should know this, considering I'm a girl myself…

> Then it hit me.
> 
> _The Bathroom!_

> Girls were _always_ going to the bathroom—to get out of class, to fix hair and makeup, to meet friends and talk. Surely they went there to cry as well. I immediately set off for the nearest bathroom, which was a floor away.
> 
> A hidden passageway and two trick staircases later, I found a girl's toilet. I was panting and gasping for breath, but I (hopelessly, but it was worth a try) smoothed my hair and pushed the door open.

> I heard a gasp, and then a hushed silence filled the room. It was kind of creepy.

> "Sami?" I whispered. I felt it was necessary to be quiet. However, I felt the word echo throughout the room and I winced.
> 
> A soft sobbing was coming from one of the stalls. I crept gingerly across the floor until I found the cubicle that I was sure Sami was in. Yes, this was it—the sound was coming directly from it, and I could see a pair of shoes under the door."Sami, please, talk to me," I said quietly. Sami didn't answer, but the sobs slowly died away into silence. It was so quiet I could hear my heart beating.

> Gathering my courage, I pushed the door open.

> Sami, to put it shortly, was a mess. Her hair was tangled from running so hard, and her makeup was running from her tears. Black mascara and eyeliner were smeared across her face as well as her hands, where she had rubbed at her eyes.
> 
> Suddenly, I didn't know what to say. Was I supposed to apologize? I hadn't done anything, Sami had blurted out herself that she was an animagus. It wasn't as if I forced her to tell me.
> 
> She was probably scared that I would spread her secret, though. I mean, if I was the only one who knew besides her dead Grandpa and Dumbledore, it had to be a pretty big deal.

> "Sami?" I began. "Listen, it's okay. I won't tell anyone your secret, I promise."
> 
> Sami sniffed, then fixed me with a steely glare.
> 
> "Why would you keep my secrets? You hate me!"
> 
> I was shocked, and I was sure she could read it on my face.
> 
> "Wha—?"

> "Oh, don't pretend. I noticed how hostile you were around me in Transfiguration. You wouldn't even look at me—I could tell you wanted to get away from me as soon as possible. I don't what I did to annoy you so much, but you really don't understand how important this is—if the information that I'm an animagus falls into the wrong hands, I'll be dead by the next day."
> 
> I stared at her. Tears were still running down her face, and I felt a horrible, bubbling emotion in the pit of my stomach: shame.
> 
> Why had I judged her so? She was a wonderful person, and I had treated her as if she was trying to steal Remus away from me on purpose. Now I realized Sami would and could never do such a thing. Remus liked her for the right reasons—her wit, her intelligence, her kindness. Why had it even occurred to me that Remus would develop a crush on someone only for their looks? I wanted to pinch myself.
> 
> And I did.
> 
> "Ow!" I exclaimed. I hadn't meant to pinch myself that hard.
> 
> Sami's mouth twitched, but she didn't smile. I squatted down onto my knees so that I was eye to eye with her.
> 
> "Oh, I'm so sorry," I said sadly. "I have been horrible to you, haven't I?"
> 
> Sami's eyes grew round and she looked at me hard. Seeing the tears glistening on her cheeks made me want to cry, too.
> 
> "You've got to understand," she murmured, "What a big deal this really is. _Lives_ are on the line, here, Mara. My being an animagus…it's helping us fight _Voldemort._ Please, please don't tell anyone."
> 
> "You're fighting Voldemort?" I gasped excitedly. Sami nodded. Without warning, I threw my arms around her. Sami froze for a second, then hugged me back.
> 
> "I swear to Merlin I won't tell a soul," I promised. "I don't have anyone to tell, anyway." Sami giggled. "Besides, I have a secret too, and it makes it very important to me that Voldemort is destroyed as soon as possible."
> 
> As if we had decided it beforehand, Sami and I both stood up.
> 
> "Let's go get something to eat," Sami suggested. "It's getting late. And I still need to go back and see if Lily's awake; I haven't talked to her all day."
> 
> "Okay," I agreed. "Do you know what's wrong with her, by the way?"
> 
> "It's just the flu," said Sami confidently. "She'll be better by tomorrow, what with all the potions Madam Pomfrey's been giving her. She's just a little tired. Overwork."
> 
> I smiled inwardly. 'You're telling me,' I thought.
> 
> Sami and I left the bathroom and headed in the direction of the Great Hall.
> 
> "You know he reason I acted so bitter towards you?" I said thoughtfully. "And don't laugh." Sami looked sideways at me and grinned.
> 
> "I won't. Shoot."
> 
> I blushed. "The guy I like has a crush on you."
> 
> Sami stopped short and I almost tripped in my haste to stop too.
> 
> "Who?"
> 
> Now my face was bright red.
> 
> "Come on," Sami demanded. "Tell."
> 
> "Promise not to tell anyone—especially not Lily."
> 
> "It's a promise."
> 
> I looked furtively left and right, but of course the hallways were deserted.
> 
> "Remus Lupin."
> 
> Sami broke into a smile.
> 
> "He's a nice guy," she commented. "Cute, too. You have good taste." I grinned foolishly.
> 
> "But I'm in love with his best friend," continued Sami wistfully.
> 
> "_James?_" I asked incredulously.
> 
> "No," Sami laughed. "Sirius."
> 
> I stopped myself from blurting that he liked her too. She'd figure it out on her own, and they'd be a great couple.
> 
> "So," Sami asked teasingly. "Was that your secret?"
> 
> I paused. How much should I tell her? "No," I replied. "But it was one of them." We both laughed.
> 
> I lowered my voice so that Sami had to lean in to hear me.
> 
> "If it isn't too much trouble…do you think that sometime…I could see you in your Animagus form?" Sami stepped back quickly and looked at the floor, and I immediately regretted saying anything.
> 
> "Can you see the Owlrey from your dormitory?" she asked finally. I nodded. "Good. I go there every morning at six o' clock to stretch my wings. Watch for me."
> 
> I held my hand out.
> 
> "Friends?" I asked hopefully.
> 
> "Friends," Sami replied, and she shook my hand. Together we walked into the Great Hall.
> 
> **.............................................................................................................**

> I realize that not much really happened in this chapter, but hopefully you weren't completely bored, lol. In the next chapter, we'll actually have the beginnings of -gasp- romance! Yay!

> **BlackLupin**: Oh, don't worry, there will be some romance soon! Thanks for the review, and the suggestion to send out an email to alert people that I'd updated. I hope you update SftP soon!
> 
> **BlackKat99**: Hoorah, I got to read another two chapters of your fic! I hope you got my review—your fic is awesome, and I can't wait to catch up on the rest. Thanks for the awesome review, it was very flattering :D
> 
> **Smiley-Freak :D**, **DaemonoftheLyre**: Thanks a lot for your awesome reviews. Hope you liked this chapter!
> 
> **Snuffles2984**: Thanks for being so faithful with your reviews, it means a lot. I'm sorry I haven't finished your fic yet, hopefully I'll be able to soon!
> 
> **shadows13**: You're also very loyal with your reviews. A million thanks! And I'm so glad you sent your story to me, it's fantastic.
> 
> **LightningCleave**: Hope you enjoyed your ice cream, lol
> 
> -Padfoot-Dreamer-


	9. Remus, Past

> **Chapter 9: Music from the Soul**
> 
> **Moony's Story**
> 
> Not a lot to say at the beginning of this chapter. Yes, the romance will finally start…you also find out the meaning of this story's title…and, once again, it took me a month to post this. Wonderful. But I really like this chapter— it was the one I was most excited to write— so hopefully that makes up for it.
> 
> By the way, has anyone here seen Prisoner of Azkaban? What did you think of it? I loved it, personally. Finally, Sirius in a movie!
> 
> **..................................................................................**
> 
> "Erumpent horn," muttered Sirius to the Fat Lady. She was asleep, which wasn't surprising- it was past midnight and the corridor was dark. He sent red sparks at her from under the cloak, and she woke up in a huff.
> 
> "Who's there?" she said shrilly.
> 
> "Erumpent horn," Sirius repeated under his breath.
> 
> The Fat Lady stared through the darkness, trying to locate the source of the voice. When she found nothing, she grinned sleepily.
> 
> "It's you lot, is it?" she asked. "Well, you're out of luck, the password was changed tonight. If you weren't off breaking school rules, you'd know how to get in."
> 
> Sirius cursed.
> 
> "Aw, stop, Padfoot, it's too late. Here, I've got it covered." James dug in his pocket and pulled out a rumpled piece of parchment.
> 
> "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."
> 
> I watched over James' shoulder as thin, spidery strands spread across the Marauders' Map, forming a detailed picture of the castle and grounds. It was impossible not to feel a sense of pride whenever I looked at it.
> 
> James waited patiently for the Map to complete itself. Sure enough, once it was done, you could see the four Marauders huddled together directly outside Gryffindor Tower. A tiny dot labeled "Sirius Black" was saying something to the Fat Lady's portrait. Sirius lit his wand and squinted at the tiny print.
> 
> "Polaris!" he exclaimed triumphantly, as soon as he could read the word. The Fat Lady raised her eyebrows and swung open.
> 
> We hadn't really been doing anything bad tonight— we just had the urge for sweets at a late hour, and headed to the kitchens to pig out. Of course, James had decided to have a little fun and gave the house elves a potion from Zonko's to slip into the Slytherins' food, but it wasn't that big a deal. We'd all get a good laugh from it and that would be that.
> 
> Slowly and carefully, James, Sirius and I stepped into the common room. It was difficult with three of us under the cloak— wistfully I remembered when we were in third and fourth year and the cloak had covered all four of us easily. We waited for a moment as a small brown rat scurried in behind us, then closed the portrait hole.
> 
> We turned around, ready to pull off the cloak, and then froze.
> 
> Mara Wilson, tiny Mara Wilson, was sitting in an armchair pulled close to the dying fire. In her arms she held a guitar, and she was strumming it lovingly. Soft, light notes floated across the room so quietly I had to concentrate to hear them. I was spellbound.
> 
> Sirius was the first to snap out of it.
> 
> "Let's go, before she hears us," he whispered, and stepped forward.
> 
> "Wait," I said, resisting. I didn't want to leave yet. I had never known Mara ever owned a guitar, much less knew how to play one.
> 
> Sirius scowled. "I'm not waiting much longer. I want some sleep before that Herbology test tomorrow."
> 
> "Sirius Black doesn't study for tests," I retorted.
> 
> "You need some sleep too, Moony, tomorrow's full moon," James said flatly.
> 
> It was true, and the bags under my eyes showed it. Twenty-four hours from now, the monster in me would take over. But I couldn't bear to think of this now, not when such a beautiful girl was only a few meters away.
> 
> Suddenly Mara stopped playing, and looked straight at us. We all caught our breath. James had his hands clamped around Peter, who was wriggling madly in fear.
> 
> Mara had a strange, haunted look on her face, as if she had been expecting something bad to happen. Then she shrugged and struck up a bright, fast paced tune, her fingers rapidly moving back and forth across the strings.
> 
> Sirius stomped on my foot.
> 
> "Let's _go,_" he hissed. I shook my head.
> 
> "Padfoot's right, Moony, that was way too close," added James. "We have to get to our dormitory." Peter squeaked in agreement.
> 
> Unwillingly, I allowed myself to be steered across the common room and towards the stairs. I tried to imprint the song Mara was playing upon my memory. It was so moving, uplifting.
> 
> I watched her face as we passed her chair, the way the light from the dying embers gently caressed her skin. Her eyes were closed, her blonde hair hanging in her face. Never had she been so breathtaking.
> 
> Slowly, we made our way around to the bottom of the stone steps. I took one last look at Mara and turned, preparing to follow my fellow Marauders up the stairs.
> 
> But after what happened the next moment, there was no way I could have left. Mara had started singing.
> 
> _"Can't you see?_
> 
> _There's a feeling that's come over me_
> 
> _Close my eyes_
> 
> _You're the only one that leaves me completely breathless…"_
> 
> I couldn't stop staring; I had to keep listening, drinking her in. I couldn't believe how much I had never known about her.
> 
> "Moony?" James asked uncertainly. I think he knew I was too far gone to reach.
> 
> "Just go," I whispered, gesturing vaguely up the staircase. My friends began ascending, and I felt the Invisibility Cloak slip off my shoulders. I was visible again.
> 
> _"No need to wonder why_
> 
> _Sometimes a gift like this you can't deny…"_
> 
> Gradually, step-by-step, I edged around her chair in a wide arc. There she was, perfect, a feast for my eyes. I had never thought of her this way before. I had never even considered her good-looking, but I realized now I just hadn't looked deep enough. I was glimpsing a part of Mara no one had ever seen.
> 
> _"Cause I wanted to fly, so you gave me your wings_
> 
> _And time held its breath so I could see, yeah_
> 
> _And you set me free…"_
> 
> Her voice was otherworldly. All thoughts of Sami, the girl I thought I loved, had been completely wiped from my mind. Surely no human being could be this incredible. I sat down in a scarlet armchair directly opposite of her, but still her eyes were shut and she didn't see me. I found myself hoping she would never open them; never know I was there, so that I could listen to her sing forever.
> 
> _"There's a will_
> 
> _There's a way_
> 
> _Sometimes words just can't explain_
> 
> _This is real_
> 
> _I'm afraid_
> 
> _I guess this time there's just no hiding, fighting_
> 
> _You make me restless…"_
> 
> I examined her face, the skin that was usually so pale but that tonight was bathed in a soft glow. There was a purple bruise on one cheek I hadn't noticed before. It pained me to realize how little attention I had paid to her these last seven years. What was wrong with me? I had completely destroyed the friendship we had had. This was my mistake, and I was going to make it up to her.
> 
> "_You're in my heart_
> 
> _The only light that shines there in the dark…"_
> 
> The peaceful expression on her face was slowly fading. She sniffed, and a single tear rolled down her cheek.
> 
> _"Cause I wanted to fly…so…you gave me…"_
> 
> Her voice splintered, and she stopped playing altogether. The tears kept coming, faster and faster— she was crying.
> 
> I wanted to hold her, to soothe her fears and make them disappear. She didn't deserve to be so unhappy! I wanted to help her with all of my heart, but I didn't have the strength to move.
> 
> Mara lifted one hand to her face and covered her mouth as she sobbed. She had started shaking. I couldn't take it anymore— I reached out and grabbed her free hand. Her skin was soft and cool in mine.
> 
> Immediately her eyes flew open, and I saw her shock in her eyes. Her eyes, always so expressive, tonight conveyed a message more clearly than words: _Help me._
> 
> I reached out and pulled her to me, bringing her closer until she was on my lap and the guitar lay forgotten on the floor.
> 
> Spasms continued to wrack her body and my arms encircled her back. Hers went around my neck.
> 
> I began to stroke her hair. "Shh, it's okay…don't cry…" I repeated over and over, not knowing what else to say. Slowly her tears subsided, and she turned her head to the side so that it was no longer buried in my chest. My shirt was soaked through, but I didn't care.
> 
> "I'm sorry," she said, and shuddered. "I shouldn't have…it was stupid…I shouldn't have cried like this…"
> 
> "It doesn't matter," I said, holding her tighter. Butterflies were bouncing around in the pit of my stomach. I had never had feelings this strong about Sami. Such emotion, for me, was completely new.
> 
> What a waste my years with Mara had been. I hadn't had the guts to listen to what my heart was stubbornly trying to tell me. Now I couldn't possibly let her go.
> 
> "Oh…I got you all wet…I won't bother you, I'll go to bed now…" She struggled, but I wasn't about to let her feel guilty about this.
> 
> "You aren't bothering me, you never have. I'm here if you want to talk." She looked up until her eyes were boring directly into mine. I felt my knees go weak.
> 
> She took a deep breath. "Okay…my father taught me to play guitar…it's what kept me going while I was at the orphanage. I play every night…it's all I have left of my parents," she said, slowly and quietly. I gently wiped the half-dried tears off her face with my thumb, and she gave me a small smile.
> 
> "I play it every night, down here…where no one will bother me, and it's quiet, and I can think…normally I'm okay, but tonight is the anniversary of the night my parents were murd— I mean, the night they died."
> 
> I frowned. "What were you going to say? Did you just say they were _murdered?_"
> 
> Mara looked at me in terror. Then her face relaxed and she nodded wearily.
> 
> I was in outrage. "I can't believe it!" I exclaimed, and she winced. "Who did it? I'll kill them, I'll—"
> 
> I was silenced when Mara touched her fingers to my lips.
> 
> "Stop," she said quietly. "There's nothing that you can do. No one can bring them back." I softened.
> 
> "I'm sorry."
> 
> "Don't be. It's fine."
> 
> We sat in silence for a few moments, holding each other and gazing into the fire. It was pure bliss. God, how I wanted her. I needed her, now.
> 
> "Mara?" I asked suddenly. It was amazing that I had the courage to ask what I was about to ask.
> 
> "Mmm?"
> 
> "Can I kiss you?"
> 
> She started violently, and for a second I thought she would refuse— then she tilted her head upward and looked me in the eye.
> 
> "Of course."
> 
> She closed her eyes and I slowly bent down to meet her lips…but then—
> 
> "_Damn it!"_ Mara yelled suddenly, clapping a hand to her forehead. I wrenched my head upward.
> 
> She jumped out of my arms and started stomping around the common room, cursing. I watched her in confusion. What did I do wrong? Pain and feelings of rejection flooded through me.
> 
> After an eternity Mara stopped short and stared at me. Horror flashed across her face and she clapped a hand to her mouth.
> 
> "Oh my— Remus…I'm so sorry…"
> 
> But I couldn't stand being near her another minute. I fled to the stairs, ignoring her cries of "Remus, wait!" I ran as fast as I could and didn't stop until I had wrenched open the dormitory door and flung myself onto my bed.
> 
> **................................................................................**
> 
> Aww…I liked writing that chapter…I feel so bad about the ending! But hey, there was romance, right? RIGHT? lol. I'm so happy: on Thursday, I graduate from middle school! Bring on the summer! So what if high school is waiting at the end of it…
> 
> **BlackKat99**: Wow! I'm so flattered! Is this seriously your favorite fic? I'm in awe! I'll give you a cookie. No, two cookies. And sure, I'll send you an email and try not to forget. Your fic is as awesome as ever, by the way. I love Arya, the mischievous little demon!
> 
> **FallenHarusame**: I noticed you changed your name! What's it mean?
> 
> **Elfy-Elf Girl**: Thanks for the review! There were subtle hints about Mara and Voldemort in this chapter, but if I'm not mistaken it's the next one that has a lot of action between them.
> 
> **Snuffles2984**: I'm totally up to date on 'Fallen,' and I LOVE it! Way to write a fabulous Sirius fic! Plus you update like every other day, which is perfect. Unlike me in all my laziness
> 
> **BlackLupin**: Well, Sami didn't exactly turn Remus down but he seems to have forgotten her for the moment :)
> 
> **Smiley-Freak :D**: Thanks for your faithful reviewing!
> 
> **Daemon of the Lyre**: Hmm…maybe she'll tell Sami her other secret someday…(tries to keep reader in suspense)
> 
> Thanks a bunch for the reviews, everyone! Now review this chapter! (Please!)
> 
> -Padfoot-Dreamer-


	10. Mara, Past

> **Chapter 10: Desperate for Freedom**

> **Moony's Story**
> 
> Hooray for summer! Thanks to my reviewers, I love you all!
> 
> **……………………………………….**

> I stared out the window gloomily as a cool breeze played across my face.
> 
> I had pulled a chair over to the windowsill. A chilly mist had flooded through the room during the night, and it wrapped itself around me. I shivered; my thin nightgown didn't stop the cold, and the wet hair hanging down my back from my shower wasn't helping. I took another sip of coffee. The sun hadn't risen yet, and I was the only one in my dorm awake. I liked it that way. I needed to be alone.
> 
> Frowning, I pushed wisps of hair out my face, clutched the coffee mug more tightly to warm my hands, and continued looking out into the pale gray sky.
> 
> The first pink and orange rays of light had appeared over the horizon. I moved my gaze from the sunrise to the Owlrey, which I had a clear view of. It was almost six o' clock.
> 
> I was hoping to catch a glimpse of Sami in her animagus form. It was the one cheerful thing I was holding on to at the moment.
> 
> Everything else in my life was going horribly, horribly wrong. Because
> 
> a) I was failing all my classes even worse than usual, due to the fact I had been up playing my guitar so late each night,
> 
> b) Voldemort, whom I'd already spent enough time with to last me several lifetimes, seemed to have taken a terribly disgusting interest in me,
> 
> and c) I had just ruined the one chance I had to be with Remus.
> 
> It was all Voldemort's fault. It really was. If he hadn't performed that terrible binding spell on me…if he hadn't been so skillful with Dark Magic…I would have had my first kiss last night, while I was wrapped in Remus's arms.
> 
> Why me? _Why?_
> 
> The binding spell that connected Voldemort and myself basically fused our emotions. I could be sitting doing homework, or eating my breakfast, or even sleeping, when suddenly feelings completely unrelated to what I was doing would flash through my head. Often these feelings were so strong I would express myself verbally, as I had done last night.
> 
> Voldemort had been furious last night. _Very_ furious. And I was almost positive I knew why.
> 
> Pushing such thoughts from my mind, I refocused my attention on the Owlrey, watching the windows hopefully. Minutes passed. I watched two tawny owls, a barn owl, and a great horned owl fly through the windows, most likely looking forward to a good long sleep after a night of hunting. The great horned owl was clutching a letter, which surprised me; it was too early for the mail to arrive. I didn't see any owls leave the Owlrey, though. Still, I kept my eyes trained on the tower. Sami had assured me she would be there.
> 
> Six o'clock came and went. I drained my coffee, until only black dregs remained at the bottom of the cup. The sun was rising steadily into the sky, the air becoming warmer…yet still there was no sign of Sami. I was alone with my thoughts, and the silence was beginning to press in on me. I got up and found my wand, figuring I might as well polish it while I was waiting.
> 
> Six ten…six fifteen…six twenty…my wand was so shiny it was going to disappear if I kept rubbing it. The only good thing about this was that although my wand didn't work properly, it still looked nice…but where on earth was Sami?
> 
> Finally, when I had just about given up hope and had returned to brooding over my relationship with Remus, a snowy owl soared out of the Owlrey window.
> 
> Sami in her animagus form was a beautiful sight. She reflected everything she was as a person: confidence, strength, and grace. The owl spread her wings wide, supporting herself on air and gliding over the trees of the Forbidden Forest. I watched as she swooped and dived, the sun's first rays shining gently on her feathers, enjoying the feeling of flying without a broom stick- something most wizards and witches would never experience.
> 
> Suddenly I wanted nothing more than to be flying next to Sami in the morning sky. I wanted to be out in the open, carefree and joyful…I longed for the unlimited _freedom_ Sami had.
> 
> Taking one last look, I turned away from the window and began getting dressed.
> 
> -----------------------------------
> 
> I was lost in thought as I wandered into the Great Hall later that morning.
> 
> This was partly because I was desperately trying to devise a plan to help me finish my Defense Against the Dark Arts homework before eleven o'clock, when I had class. I had completed six inches of my foot-and-a-half long essay that morning while I waited for my roommates to wake up, but it wasn't long enough for me to get a passing grade.
> 
> It was partly because I was still in awe from having the chance to see Sami in her animagus form, which made me feel very trusted and respected- after all, I was sure she didn't just go around showing off her ability to random people.
> 
> And it was partly because my thoughts, as always, were with Remus.
> 
> I sat down in the first empty seat I saw and immediately pulled three different platters towards me. I was suddenly starving. I began to shovel large piles of what might have been sausage and eggs onto my plate, but I wouldn't know because I wasn't really looking.
> 
> "Eat much, Wilson?" asked an incredulous voice very close by.
> 
> I froze, hardly daring to look up. I raised my eyes until they were looking right into the eyes of Sirius Black. He was directly across the table from me, and wearing an expression halfway between shock and amusement. I swallowed nervously.
> 
> If Sirius Black was sitting across from me…and that was James on his left…then that must mean…
> 
> Slowly, I turned my head to the side and confirmed what I had been afraid of.
> 
> I had seated myself next to Remus Lupin, whose mouth was hanging open.
> 
> I completely forgot about my food as I rose to my feet, turned around, and began to walk away from Gryffindor table as fast as my legs would carry me. I could feel a blush spreading across my face. I almost never ate breakfast in the Great Hall— normally I took my meals to the Gryffindor common room— so why did I have to end up sitting next to Remus the one time I decided to join my classmates?
> 
> I didn't look back, and had almost reached the doors of the Great Hall when someone tapped me on the shoulder.
> 
> I turned around, bracing myself, but it wasn't Remus. It was Sami. As if Remus would have followed me, anyway...
> 
> "Are you okay?" asked Sami with something that sounded like concern. "You seemed to be in quite a hurry." She looked perfect, as always, with her makeup expertly done and her hair falling in soft curls down her back. I couldn't help the little flare of jealousy I felt in my stomach when I looked at her.
> 
> "No, I'm fine," I said sheepishly. "Just remembered I had homework to do, that's all."
> 
> "Oh," said Sami, obviously a bit confused.
> 
> "By the way, I happened to wake up early this morning, and I saw you fly—"
> 
> Sami clapped her hand over my mouth. "Not here!" she whispered fearfully. I nodded, and she removed her hand. The blush was creeping into my cheeks again. It was so typical of me to almost let such important information slip. I'd made a promise to her, and I intended to keep it.
> 
> "You were amazing," I said in a very low voice. "It's awesome that you are using your talents to fight Voldemort." Sami flinched.
> 
> I was confused. "I thought you were okay with the name."
> 
> Sami shook her head. "It was a stretch for me to use it, but I felt like on the day my Grandpa talked to me, it needed to be said. Normally I don't say his name."
> 
> I was embarrassed. "Well, thanks for letting me watch, anyway."
> 
> "No problem." We grinned at each other in the silence.
> 
> "Oh, I can't believe I almost forgot to tell you," said Sami suddenly, smacking her forehead with her palm. She held up a letter, written on stationary with a ballpoint pen.
> 
> "I got a letter from my parents today," she continued, "About my grandfather." She paused.
> 
> "Ok…" I said, not understanding where this was going.
> 
> "Remember you said there was no way my grandfather could contact me if he wasn't a wizard? Well…I decided to do a bit of digging, because I absolutely _knew_ it had to be him. I sent an owl to my parents the day he came through, and I got the answer back today."
> 
> Well, that explained the stationary. Sami's parents were Muggles.
> 
> "And what did they say?" I asked, my throat dry. I already knew the answer.
> 
> "You were right. My grandfather was a wizard."
> 
> "Oh." It was all I could think of. What else was there to say?
> 
> "My parents knew all along."
> 
> Sami was looking at the floor, with a hurt look on her face. It was clear that not being trusted with this information had damaged her pride.
> 
> "He went to Hogwarts when he was young, fell in love with a beautiful witch, and married her after he graduated. They had a baby— my father— and were enjoying their life and raising a child together…"
> 
> Sami broke off, blinking furiously. She was clutching the letter so tightly I was sure she would rip it.
> 
> "And then?" I prompted gently.
> 
> "They were packing up everything in the apartment, because they had been saving up and now had enough money to buy a house. They were using magic to make the job easier. Anyway, they got around to the heavy furniture. Grandpa levitated a bookcase and was slowly moving it around the room towards the door, but the baby began crying and he got distracted. The bookcase fell…right on top of my grandmother…
> 
> I could tell this was a painful story for Sami to relate. Amazed at my own boldness (I certainly seemed to be getting better at this feeling stuff) I stepped forward and wrapped her in a hug.
> 
> "She fell down the stairs." Sami swallowed. "She died from the head trauma. Grandpa felt so distraught and so guilty, he swore never to do anything magical for the rest of his life. All this time I had been told my grandma died of a heart attack…I never would have found out if it weren't for you. Thanks."
> 
> "Anytime," I said quietly. I squeezed Sami gently, then let go. Sami stepped back and began rubbing at the corners of her eyes.
> 
> For a few moments we stood in silence. I had known, of course, that there was no possibility of Sami's grandfather _not_ being a wizard, but I hadn't know the truth would be this painful or dramatic. It really tugged at your heartstrings.
> 
> "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
> 
> Sami and I jerked our heads upward in surprise. One sweeping glance of the Great Hall told me everything.
> 
> The entire student body had gone berserk.
> 
> Each and every female in the school— and quite a few of the boys as well— had jumped to their feet, making a mad dash for the doors and shrieking their hearts out. Sami and I quickly got out of the way so as to avoid being trampled. It was chaos. Even the teachers didn't seem to know what to do.
> 
> The reason as to why everyone was screaming? Countless little green frogs were hopping all over the room. They were on the floor, the benches, even in the food.
> 
> My eyes scanned the Gryffindor table. Exactly as I had suspected— James and Sirius were in hysterics, clutching their stomachs and slapping each other high fives as they laughed.
> 
> I shifted my gaze to the other side of the room. Bingo— while several boys were still seated at the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables, looking bewildered, the Slytherin table was completely empty.
> 
> Another clever, brilliant trick pulled off by the infamous duo, Potter and Black. Hooray.
> 
> This was definitely one of their better ones, though. I wondered how long the spell would last—forever, hopefully.
> 
> Sami hadn't quite caught on. She bent down and picked up one of the frogs that had hopped close to her shoe.
> 
> "Hey there," she said in a falsely cheerful voice to it, petting its bumpy head with her thumb.
> 
> "It's a Slytherin," I informed her. She immediately dropped it. The frog fell to the floor with an indignant croak. Laughing, Sami and I left the Great Hall.
> 
> The prank had brightened my morning, if only for a little while. I knew my happiness couldn't last.
> 
> -------------------------------------
> 
> The corridor was dark, silent, and empty, which was a given considering it was the middle of the night, and I didn't like it one bit. It was all too clear in my mind what had happened the last time I walked alone in a corridor, and I fully knew it would happen again. I could sense it. It was the waiting that was killing me.
> 
> But I didn't have a choice. I had forgotten my dragon hide gloves in the Potions classroom, which I needed for Herbology the next day. I wouldn't have time to go and get them after breakfast. Goosebumps sprang up on my bare arms as I turned a corner and began descending the stone steps toward the dungeons.
> 
> The air got steadily cooler as I continued down the cracked stairs. Lit candles lined the wall, but the light shining from them was feeble and didn't offer any warmth. I drew my wand, mainly because it made me feel safe.
> 
> _"Lumos,"_ I whispered, but I wasn't surprised when nothing happened.
> 
> I reached the bottom of the staircase and headed in the direction of the Potions classroom. It was even creepier at night than in the daytime, and when I reached the classroom door, I stopped and stood still as dread flooded throughout my body. The surface of my skin was tingling, and I braced myself.
> 
> I pushed open the door…
> 
> …but nothing was there. I let out the breath I didn't realize I'd been holding.
> 
> I crept between the desks, trying to navigate to the back of the classroom in the darkness. My desk was as far away from the front of the room as possible, which was the way I liked it.
> 
> Finally, I found my desk…but to my surprise, my gloves weren't on it. I was positive I had left them here. I ran my hand over the smooth wood, over my chair, even over the floor under the desk, but no gloves. I stood up, defeated. I was just going to have to hope the plants we were working with in Herbology wouldn't be poisonous. Until…
> 
> "Mara," said a cold voice. It sent chills down my spine.
> 
> I closed my eyes, sucking in a deep breath and counting to ten. Slowly, I turned around. The classroom was empty.
> 
> "Where are you?" I asked suspiciously. I hated it when Voldemort played games.
> 
> "I'm right here, Mara," came the disembodied voice. I shuddered when he said my name; he uttered it with triumph, as if I was a prize he had won.
> 
> I squinted and could just barely make out the outline of a black cloak on the opposite side of the room, but when I looked again it was gone. I bit my lip.
> 
> I focused my thoughts on our bond, trying desperately to figure out where he had disappeared to. I felt a prickling up and down my side, and I knew…he was behind me.
> 
> I spun around at once to face him. He was way too close.
> 
> "Very good, Mara," he said, and I tried not to throw up as I felt his breath on my ear. "As our bond grows stronger, so do you."
> 
> His voice wasn't the same cool, teasing voice he usually used when he was with me. He sounded flat out angry, and I could feel his fury in my head. I tried to push it out.
> 
> "Yes…" he muttered, mere inches from my face. "Strong enough to connect with a certain old wizard I killed the other day, in front of all your classmates and a teacher…"
> 
> He grabbed me violently by the front of my robes, pulling me even closer to him. His horrible red eyes were glinting.
> 
> "What did he say?" Voldemort demanded, pronouncing each word with particular venom.
> 
> "N-nothing," I gasped, struggling to breath. Voldemort's grip tightened on my robes.
> 
> "Don't lie to me," he hissed. "Do you really think _you_ of all people can lie in my presence? When we are connected as we are?"
> 
> I knew I didn't have a chance. "It was just a message for his granddaughter, that's all!"
> 
> I closed my eyes and prayed that it would work. After all, it wasn't a lie, just not the entire truth. I sucked in a large breath with difficulty.
> 
> Voldemort's grip on my robes loosened slightly. "And who is his granddaughter?" he asked. It seemed as if he thought I was breaking down and ready to tell him everything. I would have punched him if I could.
> 
> "He…he didn't say," I replied, thinking fast. Sami's grandfather hadn't come straight out and mentioned Sami, so that wasn't a lie, either.
> 
> The silence was suffocating. I swore I could hear my heartbeat echoing off the dungeon walls.
> 
> "Don't think I won't find out the exact wording," Voldemort breathed down my neck. "You aren't being truthful, and for that you will pay. But as for now…do you remember what I told you the last time we met?"
> 
> My heart stopped.
> 
> I remembered.
> 
> Voldemort had moved closer, too close. I tried to step away, but he had me by the front of my robes again. Roughly, I was turned around and shoved backwards into the rock wall. I struggled as terror flooded through me.
> 
> An emotion I couldn't quite place was pounding in my ears; I could tell it was coming from Voldemort, from our bond. _Every Lord needs a Lady, Mara._
> 
> The rocks were sharp and were digging into my back. He came closer and closer, until his body was pressed up against mine and it was all I could do to keep from screaming.
> 
> He took one long, chalk white finger and ran it down the side of my face. I nearly collapsed from the contact.
> 
> Next moment he had buried one hand in my hair. The other hand was roaming all over my body. My mind couldn't even comprehend the horror of him touching me. _I need to get out, I need to be free, to be flying away, flying in the sky…_
> 
> He licked his lips and I wondered if he had ever been so close to a female. His face was coming nearer…
> 
> _Oh please don't kiss me, don't, oh please…_
> 
> But next moment he had stepped back, and I had fallen forward onto my knees.
> 
> "Just a little taster," Voldemort whispered. "I'll be back." I was drawing in great, shuddering gasps of air.
> 
> "And I think you were looking for these." He drew my dragon hide gloves out of his pocket and threw them onto the floor in front of me. I gathered my strength and looked up at him. Our eyes met, and I could see the arousal in his eyes. My fear had aroused him.
> 
> It was in that moment that I knew the feeling that I had sensed from the bond between us, and what that feeling was…was _lust_.
> 
> **…………………………………….**
> 
> In case anyone was confused, when Mara cried out in the last chapter, it was because Voldemort had just learned that she had 'connected' with Sami's grandfather and was very angry about it…just thought I'd clear that up.
> 
> Thanks for the really positive feedback on last chapter, I was thrilled!
> 
> I don't have time to comment on everyone's review, though, because I'm leaving for Cape Cod in less than an hour and had to wake up early to get this posted…Sorry. I just want to comment on two:
> 
> **FallenHarusame: **That's cool about your username meaning :D And hooray for us for surviving middle school!
> 
> **Snuffles2984: **Thank you so much! And as for Fallen, it completely deserves all the good feedback it gets.
> 
> Most of you probably noticed I changed my username. I changed it on June 26th, with made it exactly a year since I joined fanfiction and started writing :) and I thought a change might be nice. It's going to be bizarre signing the end of this chapter differently, but here goes…
> 
> Happy July 4th to anyone in the US!
> 
> -Nora's magelet-


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